Never again can I talk about the Jesus I never knew because this month He has reveled himself so intimately. This month I have been going up the mountain so God could speak to me. I climbed up the mountain to build s desperation within my heart for my relationship with God. I didn’t want to look at home through binoculars, I wanted to see Him up close. Every morning I hiked up asking God to walk in the Garden with Him, not really knowing what that even looked like, but I feel like He is starting to show me.
It looks like painting His creation, helping my friend, or sitting in complete silence with Him. It feels refreshing on day, sad on another, painful and frustrating, joyful and light… it feels different on every single day. There is not a formula to God because He wants to show us all the different sides of Him. When you learn about someone, you don’t just learn in depth about only one area of their life, you learn a little about a whole bunch of different things.
As I climbed up the mountain for the last time this morning, I know I would physically feel and understand what it feels like to walk with Him because that has been my desperation prayer all month. As I came to the top I saw His pink sun painters with so much love for me. The sunrise already happened, I woke up too “late” to see that, but He kept it pink for me. As it came over the clouds it was starring straight at me as I came to walk with Him!
He has a spot for me in every country and in every place but He does not just exist there on the mountain. Walking in the garden with Him is listening to the words He has to say to me, catching His wind to blow my sail and guide me through life. You can’t see wind. You don’t know where it is coming from or where it is going, but you always feel it and the difference it makes. I don’t know barely anything about Jesus but I do know Him! He is the creator of the world and my father, brother, lover, and friend. He is good and loves me so deeply and uniquely. He is a gentleman and cares about the details of my life. He is both the scariest and safest thing I have ever known! Ultimately He is my God and I am His daughter… fully known and fully loved! ??
