Well, it’s official. I won’t be leaving until July 2015. 
Waaah. I had a little pity party for myself at drill yesterday after the army confirmed that they will not be able to approve my trip in time for the January leave date I have been planning on for the past 6 months. I know now that one person in particular does not agree with this trip. I didn’t really consider that there would be someone who didn’t agree with a trip that’s primary goal is helping the less fortunate. I have that problem a lot, failing to realize that there are other, less optimistic view points out there. I understand that it is his job to look out for the well-being of the unit. I am a part of the unit. In his eyes, It doesn’t benefit the unit or my military career to allow me to leave for 11 months. I disagree. I think that going to learn how to connect with people from different cultures is extremely valuable for my future in the military. Once again, a difference of views that I failed to realize could exist.
The most interesting thing that came out of all of this was the reaction of some of the people I work with who in some ways implied that I should still just go in January. Would it be possible to still go in January? Absolutely. I would be gone before they knew I was gone.
But…how can you disobey God…for God?
It never crossed my mind to disobey the authority that has been placed over me or to break the commitment that I made to the Army. Doing so would be morally wrong. It’s not even a gray-area issue. It was surprising to me that people would think this would be an option for me. But then I thought about it…of course people would think this would be an option. Christians do this every day. Using God’s name as they disobey Him, “for Him”.
This is one of the main issues that kept me from fully trusting in God in the first place. I looked back at history at the hate crimes and horrible things that people have done in the name of God. Yuck. It’s so sad.
If God calls you to something he will NEVER put you in a position where you will have to disobey his commands. I understand that people can have such strong feelings about what they are doing that when an obstacle presents itself, they drive on. When they realize that things don’t look as good as they want them to, they lie. They realize that they need that extra money to make the ends meet so they steal or cheat. No, no, no. This is the most dangerous kind of Christian. The kind that is so set on their own agenda (they’re “God-serving” agenda), that they will literally ignore God to get to where they want to be.
To me, this is how good things become bad things. Pride is said to be the root of all other sins and pride is at the root of disobedience. Yes, I want to leave in January. Yes, my life would be easier, my plans smoother, my heart happier, but I am not willing to turn from God and choose me over him. Pride is choosing not to submit to authority. Pride is choosing to continue on a mission even when God says, “stop” or “wait”. Pride is a dangerous thing and can create a very dangerous christian.
