November/December-
With this season comes joy, giving thanks, planning gifts, decorating the Christmas tree with family ornaments, and celebrating the birth of our Savior. This part of the year has always been my absolute favorite. I love sitting by the fire, book in hand, reading by candlelight and Christmas lights, while waiting for the first big snow. I was ready for the holidays.
It was a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving, that my entire world fell apart . . . or so it seemed.
The date was 11/12/13. It was a beautiful day, I had just spoken to my church about the World Race a couple of days prior, donations were starting to come in, the weather was gorgeous, and everything seemed perfect. Until 4 p.m..
My grandfather had been sick for a few years now. He had suffered many strokes, and he was in a nursing home a couple of hours away from Radford. I knew he wasn’t doing well, but I had just seen him, and it seemed like he was having a good day, so I wasn’t expecting the phone call to come immediately and say goodbye.
I drove home and we loaded up the family car. My parents, sister, grandmother, and I headed to Stanton. We walked into the room, my uncle by his side, and saw him breathing heavily. We all knew it wouldn’t be long. We each had a chance to talk to him and play some of his favorite songs. We were only there for 45 minutes when we watched him take his final breath. Watching my grandmother say goodbye to her husband was the hardest thing I have ever witnessed. The next few days were filled with tears, flowers, texts, and arrangements. The only comfort was knowing that he is in the presence of the Lord.
It had only been 5 days since my grandfather’s passing, that I heard the news that a friend from college was tragically killed. It was like a rug was pulled from beneath me. I couldn’t breathe, my body felt numb, and I just wanted to know why?. Family wept with me and friends embraced me, but I felt so empty. Emptiness turned in to anger. Anger directed toward God.
I started to turn from Him. I didn’t want to talk to him, and I just wanted to be left alone. I was just about to give up when I read Psalm 147:3- He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds. I realized He was speaking to me. He wanted me to know that He loves me and that He can heal me, if I let Him. I saw His compassion and His longing for my heart. It also made me think about the World Race. How there are so many people who are suffering and do not know the God that heals their wounds and heartbreak. A passage that really gripped my heart was Matthew 10:6-8- Go rather to the lost sheep of Israel. As you go, proclaim this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cast out demons. Freely you have received, so freely give.
He restored my broken heart, and he wants me to help others in times of need. It’s not about me, but it’s about the Kingdom. That is exactly what the World Race is- The Kingdom. I also know that He can use me through all of this, and will not leave me. I know that he will protect His daughter’s heart. From broken, to restored, I have found strength in HIM.
