Hello world race reader,
I am currently writing this blog from Draganesti-Olt, Romania and I am in my third month of the race. During a recent conversation with my mom back home she asked me if I felt the “honeymoon stage” was over yet within my team/squad. If I am being honest I would have to say ABSOLUTELY; but this is where the fun is just beginning. The Lord is growing and stretching us in ways that appear scary and frustrating but underneath it all it is totally necessary and beautiful, and God is present. I just want to share for my supporters back home, my friends and family who may be wondering what I’m going through, and current or future world racers that this blog may touch.
Here are a few things the Lord is currently walking with me in.
1. I had expectations I had no clue about.
I remember at training camp being told we need to let go of expectations because it will make your race more fruitful. Thinking to myself in that moment at training camp; “I’m free – I have no expectations”. Wrong! Then I remember at launch being told that I won’t know I have expectations until they don’t get met. EXACTAMOONDO my friends this is the truth.
Example: I thought (and you may think) that because I am a missionary I will have endless amounts of love, compassion, patience, and grace. Missionaries are full of all that good stuff right? Well yes and no… we are all imperfect people in need of the love and grace given by God. If living in community and out of my comforts has taught me anything it is that I need more grace, love, patience, compassion for others than I can muster up all by myself. Living together 24/7 in one small room with 4 other girls and in a mission house with 26 other people (sometimes more) will help you realize you have to rely on the Lord to give you the amount of love, patience, compassion, and grace that you need to be able to minister to the nations from a healthy place. I am learning to let God be my rock and not leaning on my own capabilities.
2. Peace amongst chaos is difficult.
There are times on the world race and when living in community that you have to deal with a room that looks like a bomb went off because other people don’t love to organize like you do, or clean a shower that has a clump of hair the size of my head to be able to get the water to drain, or when you have only one pair of underwear left for the next 4 days until it’s your turn to do laundry, or when you have been working hard at ministry all day and you just want to shower but the city has turned the water off randomly, or when you are so tired and want to go to bed but your squad mates want to stay up having a dance party, or when the neighbor dog wakes you up at 5 am because he feels like barking at nothing, or when you haven’t had a second of alone time in 3 weeks.
These instances happen and you can’t loose your cool, you can’t run away because you are in a foreign country and you have no car. You have to learn to cope. The Lord is teaching me how to have peace within Him. How to stand in the midst of chaos that is ravishing my flesh to frazzled pieces and find peace; to seek Him for shelter and comfort. Going to God in prayer in those moments is hard to do because my flesh is weak but it is something He wants to teach me so I’m striving y’all.
3. God in conflict
One last lesson I am going to share for now is about conflict. WAIT WHHHAT… they have that on the World Race? You betcha; but the difference between the conflict you think about by today’s standards and that of the average Jerry Springer show is that we have God. God holds us to a higher standard of living. When we come to someone it is meant to be from a place of love. Most often we call this feedback and every team and every squad mate can do this but it is something done prayerfully. Recently for me I have started to realize I have let my flesh do this and I am leaving God out of it. When I am given feedback or approached with a conflict, rather than letting my flesh get defensive, I need to go to God, go to His word, talk to Him and let the ULTIMATE judge of the highest court either convict me of my sins and I shall repent and mend my wrong doings or let the Lord put justice in my heart and let me know I am doing His will. My judgment shall only come from the Lord. Jesus didn’t seek to please people of this world – He sought only the will of God the Father. He knew if He stayed on the path God has set before Him then the Father would bless Him.
In life I am seeking to set my heart right upon the Lord, to seek His will for my life and His approval. We need not to be afraid of anything if we are living out God’s word and His will.
I am growing in my dependence on God and Lord am I thankful.
