Sunday's I wake up groggy and disappointed I have mere hours to go before I return to another work week. I normally go to work waitressing and make it just in time for the 4:30 services at my church Blackhawk.
I sit down in a crowded room with the ushers frantically, yet respectfully squishing us all together. The room is filled with smiling faces from all over the Madison area greeting one another. The music begins. Guitars, pianos, drums all chime in at the appropriate time that makes me feel like I am at a Christian concert. I sing the words up on the screen but often times knowing the words by heart. My hearts starts racing at this familiar feeling of Christ's prescence inside me as well as in the room. I am among all these fellow Christians also eager for this drug of choice. Pastor Chris greets us all and starts us out with a prayer; and I am hooked. God has entered my blood stream and is being pumped to all extremeties. In these inital moments as I listen intently to the message I feel my heart soaking up these words; feeling as though they are meant for me and me alone. A drug so powerful as if it has been genetically altered to affect me specifically in a way it cannot possibly affect anyone else in the very same way. I sit very still until I notice my legs falling asleep or my neck straining because I am doing my head tilt I only do when I am very focused; almost as though this message has put me in a trance. God's love is very addictiing! Once you have a taste of just the sheer amount of love and understanding He has for us His children you will want more.
I leave feeling high. I have heard the term "high on Jesus" before but never realized I too have experienced that feeling. It is oftentimes most felt after church on Sunday's or after talking with my Life Group or my fellow racers on skype. On my drive home tonight I felt myself changed by the message. My drug of choice has altered me; left me craving more; wanting and NEEDING more. I find myself asking "How do I get more?"
I can't wait for others to help me retrieve this. I need to take responsibility and make my relationship with God even deeper. I need to keep my eyes on God at all times; that's what I want to strive for. I pray to be changed by the words of the Gospel, to desire more, to live for Him and only Him.
