I am stressin, BIG time.
How does someone begin to prepare for 11 months out of the country especially when you have little to no details besides a tentative route of countries and your first months teammates? I would like to say I have mastered this art of preparations; but that would be a complete and utter LIE. Between visa applications, bank arrangements, vaccine appointments, getting the right medications, fundraising, packing, trying to see family and friends that are scattered across the country, all the while battling emotions of myself and loved ones regarding me being gone for almost a year. I feel like I am sitting inside a swirling hurricane that is whipping the details of my life around me. At times I make light of my situation with, "eh I'm not worried it will all get taken care of", and other times I can literally feel my heart beating so fast I could scream.
This journey is not an easy one. Yes, it may seem as though it is from the outside looking in but it has it's ups and downs. I do not want to come off like I am complaining because in reality I have never been more thankful than I am to have the opportunity to do the World Race. At training camp every time I had a chance to engage in a private moment with the Lord the first thing that would pop into my mind would be, "Lord thank you for choosing me, sending me".
I know that every moment that I am cast with fear, anxiety, and frustration that the devil is trying to ruin this experience. If he succeeds in ruining my love and desire to tell people about Jesus, he wins. He is wretched, he wants to put those feelings between the true meaning of this trip. The devil wants to try to paralyze me with fear, anxiety, and frustration but he doesn't know a thing about the power my God. My God can pull me out of any darkness he is trying to cast.
I hear in my heart the words:
"He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us, oh,
Oh, how He loves us,
How He loves us all​"
My God is jealous for me. He wants me to push aside regularly all the earthly things that separate me from Him and sit with Him in silence. He is so constant and loving and yet at times I forget that.
I pray Lord Your voice drowns out all things against You. Let your love cast enormous shadows over my friends, family, teammates, and anyone willing to listen.
You are so loving,
