Out of boredom right now I feel convicted to tell what is going on in my life. I am struggling. I am in month 9 of the race and I am bored. Temporarily bored. My team and I have a great contact. The Philippines is great. In this moment of time God is teaching me things; lots of things.
I am learning I can’t just sit. Whether it is physically or spiritually I desire to be moving forward, side to side, backwards even, if that means moving. I can’t sit still and just enjoy moments. The way I see it is spiritually that can be good or bad. I am happy I have the desire to always be moving in my faith. I fight against being stagnant with my relationship with God. On the other hand I am unable to just “sit in the presence” of God. I read books and talk to fellow Christians who talk about learning to just soak in His presence. I can’t do it and I want to if that’s what God wants from me.
Also, this month has been challenging me already to TRUST God even more with what comes next in my life. He is challenging me to let go of my own plans and expectations and allow Him to guide me. He wants me to trust His timing as well. He has been showing me all these great possibilities for my life just within my reach but I feel God keep telling me “not yet”. UGHHH…
I know I am going to look back on this time of growth fondly because I will be grateful for the fruits of this time but now I feel like I’m trying to run full speed ahead and I have a 300 Ib lineman holding me in one place while I exert all my efforts.
After talking to a friend of mine and explaining to her how I was feeling she told me she feels God is preparing me for a new season.
Right now I am praying to remain present; not to loose my desire to be on the mission field. I am praying God continues to grow and prepare me for the next season as well whatever that looks like.
I promise to keep you all posted.
Katelyn
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