Am I home? The answer is, essentially, yes. I am back in the States for medical treatment. I am saddened that my illness came to this, but after being sick for a month and seeing multiple doctors, it became the best option for me. I plan to be back out on the field in a few weeks.
In one day, I flew from Quito, Ecuador to Raleigh, North Carolina, USA. I am at a loss for words to describe this past week. Restful? Overwhelming? Definitely heart-wrenching.
Because I realized that I was torn between two homes. While I was excited to see my little brothers, I could barely leave my sisters and brothers on my squad. Eating soup around my own dining room table was home, but so was eating a rice on folding tables. It felt natural to put on my sweatshirt from closet, but also my t-shirts from my packing cube.
So how do I live this way? How can I invest so deeply into two places at once? How did I say goodbye to my squad, and how do I say goodbye to my family for the second time? How do I live feeling like I am never truly home?
I live like I am always home. Even without my squad or my family, I am always at home with God. He provides, sustains, and loves me deeply. It is because of his love that I can love my two families so dearly. I am thankful for how much I love my families and how much I miss them when I am away. Because, when I miss them, I can see how much more God misses me when I am turning away from him. When I love my families so deeply, I realize how much more God loves me.
So, I am home in Raleigh. I was home in Quito. I will always be home with God.
Thank you so much for supporting my journey by reading my blog. If you would like to support me financially, I need $4,000 more in the next two months. It would mean the world to me if you would like to give. You can do so by clicking on the “donate” button on the top of the page.
Love,
Kate
