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It is hour 25 of our 27 hour train ride from Ukraine to Romania and I am just now getting to my travel day “to do list” which includes writing you.

 

I’ve been having some God Time as I stare out at the open wheat fields of the Romanian countryside. I find it a good time to process with God my life some more, something on my mind quite a bit as we are but weeks away from coming back to the States.

I started thinking about this past night. I’m in a little sleep cart with my teammates Auston and Sarah, while the rest of my team and Team Seven are dispersed elsewhere in the train. Our room is probably as wide as I am high, and the length isn’t much bigger. We travel with ridiculous amounts of stuff for backpackers so its always interesting managing where to stuff our backpacks in such tight quarters.

So on four different occasions we had either the Moldovian or Romanian Border Control wake us up asking for our passports. Armed patrol were parading up the train hall, guard dogs were sniffing through our stuff, and at the same time no one speaks English so I sit listening to these intimidating looking guards talk about us in their language while catching only a few words here or there. I wonder what’s going on, but all I can do is wait to get my passport stamped so we can continue on our journey.

Sometimes I have to ask if this is really my life? I mean who can say they have had Moldovian guards interrogate you in their language to let you into their country that I never knew existed before this year! They are probably wondering why a group of Americans are coming to their country…I ask the same thing sometimes too!

I find myself so confused what “life” is now. Is “real life” what I left behind in America? Am I encountering it in all these places I have been? Is this vagabond way of living “life”?

I just read in Deuteronomy 30 when God tells us to “Now choose life!”
I asked God what am I supposed to choose when I don’t know what is actual life and what life will look like in 2 months.

He responds rather with a “why response”…

“So you may love the Lord your God,

Listen to His voice,

And hold fast to Him….

I get scared about life sometimes, but I know I cant live the life God wants me to when I’m not holding fast to Jesus and hearing Him speak to me.

The verse goes on to say,
“…For the LORD is your LIFE.” –(Deuteronomy 30:19-20)
When I see I am to choose Jesus, I guess there is no telling what my “life” will look like. I understand more now than ever when Peter says we are “aliens and strangers to this world” just passing through. My life isn’t defined anymore by a place I call home, a job I do, certain people in my future…my Life is Jesus. And that may mean I may look like an alien, a stranger, or not what fits in to the world’s ideal standard.
But my home is with Jesus. And where He is, is right where I want to be!