I have been reading tons of World Race blogs lately since my acceptance to the program. I have loved every moment of reading these blogs. I feel that the blogs I am reading are words being ripped from my very heart. I have had multiple moments that I just stop, blink a couple of times, check to see if what I am reading is really real, reread it and then it hits me… I am not alone.
Many of you may not know, but I had gone through a period of time where I hated being alone. I know hate is a strong word, and it describes this feeling I had perfectly about being alone. All this time, I have dreaded being alone. But the thing is, I am not alone. Beside the simple fact that I never have been. The Lord, my Savior, never leaves me nor forsakes me, (Deuteronomy 31:6) but its more than that. I am not alone because there are many others living their lives who feel the same way as me.
One quote from a World Racer's blog reads, "To be honest I am tired at this stage in my life. Tired of being out of school and not feeling like I am doing what I am supposed to do; tired of feeling stagnant in my walk with the Lord; tired of complaining; and just tired of being tired." Those are words that I could have promised were hidden away in my heart for no one else to hear…but then there they were-written on someone else's blog. These words resonate in my very soul as if it were my heart authoring a blog rather than a stranger.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg of my feelings. The thoughts from my heart are just this. I feel that there is more to this life that I am suppose to live. Why do I spend my quiet times memorizing James verses that state," Consider it pure joy my brothers when faced with trials of many kinds because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything," and yet I live this life? What trial is there in my life? Where am I persevering? I desire to be mature and complete in the Lord. And ONLY through the Lord.
How do I live my life when I memorize James 1:27, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and keep oneself from being polluted by the world"? What do I do differently as a Christian in this life after I read Isaiah 1:17, "Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow"? How do I reveal my love to the Lord through obedience when he says Matthew 28:19, "Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing then in the name of the Father and the Son and of the Holy Spirit"?
I don't want to keep asking myself these questions about this life that I am living right now. I feel that there is more to this life than what I am currently living. As I sat in a swirling tornado of questions the answer to these questions came from God's words written in Isaiah 41:9 which I have talked about before, "I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and have not rejected you."
The Lord has blessed me with this opportunity to do the World Race, and now I feel that this is what he has called me to do. He has taken me from the ends of the earth, from my corner of Denver, Colorado to call me. He has said to me, " You are my servant, Kate. I have chosen you, out of your job, and have not rejected you!! The Lord's blessing is the most important! He is the answer to my questions.
The real questions are written in Romans 10:14-15, with the true answers, "How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!'"
Father, I give you my service. I walk with these feet. I deliver your good news. I desire beautiful feet for your work, but your feet are the ones that I shall kneel at, weep on, and hold to in this crazy world race.
