I looked down at my dirty feet, happy with their condition. There’s something about dust covered sandals and toes that makes me feel as if I’ve been somewhere, as if I’ve accomplished something. When I had a garden to work in, the first thing I would do is remove my shoes and allow my bare feet sink into the soil. A sense of achievement was reached even before I touched a shovel. Today, we were going from one shack to another in one of the poorest communities I have seen. We prayed for people, brought them essential food supplies, and invited them to a church service to be had later. A woman from the village approached Sara, our contact, to tell her that there was an old woman nearby whose son was very sick and would appreciate our prayer. We passed chickens, pigs, and stray dogs as we made our way to her home. The dust swirled around my ankles with every step I made as the parched ground cried out for rain.
I stepped over makeshift ramps and through the doorway and immediately looked into a woman’s sorrowful eyes. Without understanding what was happening, my eyes followed to where her gaze had landed; upon her son’s lifeless body which lay draped in white. I’d never seen a dead body before that hadn’t been dressed for a funeral. My heart jumped and I felt a little dizzy. I turned back to his mother and moved to comfort her, though I didn’t have much time to think. A man from our group, Hugh, asked everyone if they wanted to pray to raise the man from the dead, and I don’t think any of us hesitated to move to prayer. After all, that’s our purpose here, right; to move in complete faith in praying for the sick to be heal, the dead to be raised, and those living in darkness to find the light of Christ, so that He may be glorified through it all.
We moved toward the bed, and I felt a lump rise in my throat. I looked at the fly-ridden, lace cloth covering his face and had to breathe in deeply to steady my hand. I looked at his form, bereft of the life he had only an hour before we arrived. I began to pray with my eyes closed tightly, and I fully believed the Lord could raise this man from the dead. I believed it so much that I could see the imagery of it happening so vividly in my mind. I opened my eyes and jumped because I thought I saw him move and expected him to sit up in bed. He only moved because someone praying over him had jostled the bed. I prayed a moment more, and then backed away. The Lord would not choose to be praised through the raising of this man.
The mother never left my heart, and I glanced over as she was swooning and two women carried her to the hammock. She hadn’t eaten for two days as her son was dying. She had such a frail frame, and laid there weakly keening as someone brought her water and another fanned her with a cloth. I made my way behind her to rub her back as she sat in the hammock. Her thin shoulders bore the burden of a life that had weighed heavily upon them. More people were beginning to fill the house, and three men appearing to be medical professionals arrived with a hearse. One of the men coldly and callously began discussing with her how she expected to bury her son since she didn’t have any money. I had taken over the fanning at this point, and looked on with amazement as I found out that the man who was speaking so unfeelingly to this woman was, in fact, her other son. How could he lack the ability to comfort his elderly mother in her time of distress? Why wasn’t he helping her with funeral costs? These questions began to fill my mind as our contact told us we needed to remove ourselves from the house.
I asked the woman if we could pray for her before we left and she graciously agreed. As the few of us remaining finished praying, she began to pray. Her face softened as she asked if she could sing us a song before we departed. From her lips came a song so sweet and so full of joy, hope, and peace. She praised Jesus for dying on the cross. She praised the Holy Spirit for coming to give her comfort. She sang this song in a state of absolute poverty with her dead son lying less than two feet away, and when she finished, she told us how thankful she was for the time Jesus gave her with her son. I was so completely humbled by her grace and her faith that Christ was sovereign even in this moment of loss. This is where He was to be glorified; through the unquestioning faith of a grieving mother.
As I walked from the tiny dwelling, I passed something that made me stop in my tracks and go back so I could process it. Her home had dirt floors, no running water, barely any food, mud and tin walls, and a roof with holes in it. Yet, what I’d been drawn back to was a set of beautiful, white rose bushes with verdant leaves, their perfect buds blooming, full of life. In the midst of this desert place there was an abundance of life bursting forth! There was richness present despite the dearth of its surroundings. This woman we encountered was so much like these rosebuds, full of life and grace. Though she was surrounded by death and desolation, her heart was a heart that could see the truth of Christ, His goodness, and one that could praise Him for the blessings He had afforded her despite her present circumstances.
I didn’t see a man raised from the dead, but that wasn’t the reason I prayed for it, nor am I discouraged that it didn’t happen. I’m not here to see signs and wonders so my faith will be increased, or so that He can prove His existence. I am on this race so that Christ may be glorified through me. What an amazing privilege I have to be used in such a way. The creator of the universe certainly doesn’t need to use me to bring glory to Himself. He is mighty and powerful enough to do that despite my actions, but… He wants to use me. I cannot help but smile when I think about how awesome that is. All I need to do is continue to go forth in absolute faith that He can even defy the laws of nature to proclaim His greatness. He was the I AM before those laws even existed, so why wouldn’t He?
"Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him?" James 2:5
