These things are inevitably going to happen. Here’s the apology in advance.
1. Sorry if I try to speak to you in another language. This includes gesturing as if you don’t understand anything. I’m especially sorry if I try to get your attention by yelling, “IWE!” It means “you” in Chichewa, the language in Malawi, and it was really the only way to get people to listen to you.
2. Sorry if I act surprised when you speak to me in English.
3. Sorry if I overreact to the price of everything in the US. I’ve lived on $4 for food every day for the last 9 months. That doesn’t go very far.
4. Sorry if I get too excited about water. Free water at restaurants, the ability to drink tap water, hot showers, ICE…
5. Sorry if I don’t get the pop culture references or things happening in the world. Keeping up with that sort of thing wasn’t top priority.
6. Sorry if I freak out about toilets. Ones that flush, ones that you can put toilet paper in, ones that aren’t a hole in the ground…
7. Sorry if I smell bad. One of my biggest fears is becoming immune to my own body odor. It’s not likely, but I’m just throwing that out there. Please tell me.
8. Sorry if I don’t use utensils. They’re not a necessity in other countries.
9. Sorry if I try to barter for anything I buy. Price tags are relative. Advice from Skylar List: take their price and cut it in half.
10. Sorry if I’m late to everything ever. Still living on Malawi time which means whenever the heck you want.
11. Sorry if my sleeping habits seem weird. You take whatever you can get whether it’s a crowded bus or a pile of my dirty clothes.
12. Sorry if I wear the same clothes multiple days in a row.
13. Sorry for all the stories that will start with “so this one time in Cambodia/Thailand/Malawi/Guatemala…” Actually I’m not sorry. It’s been a great 9 months filled with lots of memories, and I can’t wait to share some of them with you!
See you soon America!! 9 days!
