“I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember,
and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:
God's loyal love couldn't have run out, 

his merciful love couldn't have dried up.

They're created new every morning. 

How great your faithfulness!

I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over). 

He's all I've got left.
God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, 

to the woman who diligently seeks.

It's a good thing to quietly hope, 

quietly hope for help from God.

It's a good thing when you're young 

to stick it out through the hard times.
When life is heavy and hard to take, 

go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer.
Don't ask questions: 

Wait for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face. 

The "worst" is never the worst.
Because the Master won't ever 

walk out and fail to return.

If he works severely, he also works tenderly. 

His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.

He takes no pleasure in making life hard, 

in throwing roadblocks in the way"
-LAMENTATIONS 3 (THE MESSAGE)
So we have made it to Nepal! And God is so good! I have been spending some time in lamentations the past few days because there has been a lot of roadblocks but a lot of praising God during our stay here in beautiful Kathmandu.
I feel like God was speaking right to the place I was in when I read lamentations 3 today, He was speaking so clearly to me, and I am overcome with Joy in my Spirit because I have a living Daddy that speaks to me and cares about me enough to enter into my sorrows, disappointments, and fears on this side of heaven.
My team is working through not only some emotional bumps and bruises but some physical ones as well. The third day we were here we got on a 12 hour bus ride to a village that we were going to be staying at for a week. We were all very excited to start ministry there, but 11 hours into the trip our bus driver fell asleep and we hit another bus parked on the side of the road. Our bus spun and ended up in a ditch. My team was scattered around the bus, and I woke up on the floor with glass and dust all around me. That was the start of a very long day of making sure people were ok going to different hospitals and fighting the spirit of fear within me. It was the start of a beautiful testimony of how God had special angels with us throughout the entire time, and how he protected all 12 of us specifically, and created in us a fighting spirit. A spirit that does not run from trouble, but sees God’s face in the worst of the chaos.
I am realizing that I don’t always see God’s promises in the way He has them for me. My human mind thinks that when He says “I will keep you from harm” that doesn’t always mean physical harm or that everything in life is going to be peachy. After looking at the life that God chose to live on this life as Jesus, it doesn’t seem like He was all about comfort, health, safety, and not getting hurt. Jesus put himself in the most risky positions, he did not play it safe, he went against the norm, God chose to be rejected, beaten, and mocked. God chose to live a life as a poor servant and he chose to get nailed to a cross. If that is the life my God lived for me, to show me His love for me, than maybe I should start looking at His promises and my view of them a bit differently. Maybe I should look at His love for me and what that looks like differently as well.
So life has been a bit heavy, with us returning back on another bus, and now watching a 24 sickness that is not pretty going around. But I have quietly hoped in my God. I have gone into the silence and waited for hope to return. God is faithful today and every new morning! Great hope was found as my team and I worshipped on our front porch together and we sang aloud to our mighty King, hope and strength in our spirits raised as we shouted “and if our God is for us, than you can ever stop us, and if our God is with us, than who can stand against? Our God is greater our God is stronger God you are higher than any other!”, and we prayed for each other and the town that we are in.
We are living here for the next week running a computer class for Christian leaders in surrounding villages and worshipping with them. We leave in about a week to go from village to village around the Tibet border to encourage believers and spread the LOVE as we go!
God showed me a bit of His hope amidst the chaos last night when small kids in our neighborhood were having a Hindu festival and going from house to house singing to the goddess of wealth to welcome her into the homes. When they came to our house I opened the door and watched them sing in a different language to this god, and I prayed for them to myself. In the third group of children that came around, one of the little girls stopped what she was singing, came up to me real close and looked at me with her big dark eyes covered in makeup, and she started singing in English, “go tell it on the mountain, over the hills and everywhere, go tell it on the mountain that Jesus Christ is born”. I asked her if she knew Jesus and she said yes! I told her that Jesus loved her very much and always welcomes the little children. She smiled and grabbed my hand and ran to catch the rest of the group.
This little girl has no idea how much hope she gave me that night, but God used her in my life to show me that He is always right there in the midst of darkness, suffering, loss, frustration, disappointment, and trials, and that the worst is never the worst when I know that I can celebrate this gift of LIFE from my Creator!
Thank you thank you thank you for all of your prayers. It hit me the other day of how many people are praying for me and my team and this country, and I just sat in awe of it. I feel such powerful prayers and so protected by the angels that your prayers have covered me with, so thank you so much. I hope that if anyone is feeling hopeless today that they will remember the Words of there loving Father in heaven written to them in lamentations 3!! Praise God JAMAZEE!! PEACE AND LOVE TO YOU!
A PICTURE OF ME AND MY SWEET NEIGHBOR JAMMIN OUT!
