This Little Light of Mine

Flashback with me to the first week of November. I had just arrived in Pattaya, Thailand for a few days of debrief with my entire squad. We were staying in a hostel that, unexpectedly, was placed smack dab in the middle of the red light district of the bustling tourist beach city. How great! If that’s not diving in to life in Thailand I don’t know what is.

My first morning there, I set up shop for my quiet time at a cute little sitting area outside of McDonald’s and Starbucks with Liz, Jillian, and Andrew. I popped my headphones in and got into my own little world… that was easily distracted by the old men that continuously walked by me. You see, 90% of the western men in Thailand are only there for sex. And with a stat like that, it’s really hard to see the 10%. So I stared at every single one that walked by, trying to catch a glimpse of their eyes. Wanting to bring a holy conviction into their lives. But every time I began to pray for their conviction to come my spirit would say the word, “worship.” So I started praying about why? And God said, “only I can convict them. Your job for the month is to worship Me. When you worship Me My presence can not be denied. Whisper songs of worship in the darkest corners of the red light district bars, shout songs of praises when you wake up and go to sleep. Sing songs of victory when you walk the streets from here to there.”

It’s great for this month…but really it’s great for life. Think of how your heart shifts when you start worshiping at church. Why would we ever stop? When you worship the presence of The Lord has to come and the darkness has to go.

“The Light Shines in The Darkness & The Darkness can Never Extinguish it.” John 1:5

One of our worship sessions at debrief was an artistic worship session. Leading up to that evening I had adopted one lie into my mind that then spiraled out of control and ended with me feeling like nothing more than a dirty little rag of impurity. When I initially sat down with my blank piece of paper I wanted nothing more than to just scribble a cloud of black all over it and cry my emo self to sleep. But I didn’t… mostly because I’m not 13, I’m not in middle school, and I forgot my black eye liner at home. Instead I told God, “Daddy, I feel so consumed by darkness I can’t even see Your light right now, but I know Your light is bigger. So show me that.” And He showed me John 1:5 back! I drew out the scripture and scribbled my frustration out in YELLOW marker instead of black all around the words. Then I started writing the lyrics to my favorite song… “This little light of miiiine, I’m gonna let it shiiiine…” What started as a lightbulb and a copy-write of lyrics turned into a poem:

This little light of mine
I’m gonna let it shine

Shine on shine on
God’s flame burns bright
Shine on shine on
He’ll fight your fight

Shine on shine on
In you He delights
Shine on shine on
He’s made you right

Shine on shine on
Your work is here
Shine on shine on
Surrender every fear

Shine on shine on
He’s not through yet
Shine on shine on
He’s paid every debt

Shine on shine on
He’s here with you
Shine on shine on
He’ll bring you through

Shine on shine on
He’s changed your path
Shine on shine on
You deserved His wrath

Shine on shine on
It’s in you He lives
Shine on shine on
It’s through you He gives

Shine on shine on
My little one
She on shine on
I swear I’m not done

The poem was refreshing and exactly what I needed from The Lord, but what’s even greater is that after each verse He wrote through me He said my sister, Cheyenne’s name. She’s beautiful and the joy of The Lord shines through her every single day. I got to pray for her as I wrote each verse and bless her with it at the end of the night. And now I get to share it with yall too!

A few days later, we left Pattaya for Chiang Mai. Cheyenne is staying at Zion Cafe working with Lighthouse In Action. This is the painting that’s on her bedroom wall for the month (and a picture of the art worship night after it):