Before you start reading, I am giving you a fair warning that you are about to read a blog post by a girl who is (for the first time ever) head over heels in love this Valentine’s day. I have had years when I hated this ‘holiday’ because I was single and lonely, but I have also had years when I looked forward to this for weeks because I was going to get to spend the day with someone special. But this year is different for me… I am completely in love which is something I have never experienced before in my life. It’s the kind of love where I have a new light in my eye. I feel like a middle school girl giggling over my new crush of the month. A love where he’s all I want to talk about and a love that is an all-consuming thought in my head throughout my day.
I have 100%, completely and wholeheartedly fallen in love with Jesus, my Ultimate Valentine.
It didn’t happen overnight, it took a lot of time and effort to grow like any normal relationship does, but every step of the way has been worth it.
I met Jesus for the first time when my parents introduced us at a young age. I saw him every Sunday in Sunday school, when we prayed with him at the table before eating dinner, and then the occasional bedtime prayer too. I knew that he loved me from a young age and that we were destined to be together one day in Heaven, but our relationship eventually fell apart. Hardships, brokenness and running to the ways of this world eventually caused me to break up with him. He still loved me; he kept gently reminding me of that, but I was too busy searching for love elsewhere. I failed to see that the only love that could ever fill my longing, desperate and searching heart was his and I spent years throwing it away.
Finally, I hit rock bottom and I reached out to him again in complete desperation. Typical Hollywood love story right? Girl meets boy. They fall in love, but something happens and they break up. They date other people for a while, but then something tragic and monumental happens and they eventually realize that they are meant to be together and they always have been. All of their loved ones knew that they would eventually find their way back to each other, but they were just patiently waiting for the boy and the girl to figure it out because it was plain as day to everyone else around them. Take that story line, change “girl” to Katarina and “boy” to Jesus and you’ve got our relationship figured out. Except one part… Jesus never stopped pursuing me. He never walked away from me. He patiently waited for me to figure out that he was the love of my life and come running straight back to him. And that is exactly what happened. It took a few years of searching and attempting to find love from anything and anyone who would give me even the slightest feelings of fulfillment, but nothing worked.
I’ve been “that girl”… I gave my heart away one too many times. I allowed myself to be treated poorly because I thought that’s what love was, an occasional sacrifice of my happiness to make someone else happy. I’ve let myself be used. I’ve tried to change who I was for someone else. I’ve cried desperately for someone to take me back with empty promises that I would change and be better. I’ve let my insecurity get the best of me. I’ve let my fear of rejection and being alone overwhelm me completely at times. But here’s the great news… I never have to be “that girl” again because I am madly in love with a Prince who promises to never leave my side no matter how far I run or how many times I push him away and then want to take him back again. He promises to love me through my flaws, my imperfections, and my weaknesses. It’s a love that I can only pray that everyone gets to experience in their lifetime. But here’s the catch… it’s a love that you can only find by falling head over heels in love with Jesus.
Self-help books, Christian dating workbooks, sermons, etc.… I’ve done it all. They can point you in his direction and guide you towards a healthy relationship with him, but falling in love with Jesus is a whole new kind of wonderful. Falling in love is scary, vulnerable and uncomfortable at times, but when you meet the right person they make falling in love seem effortless and easy. Jesus is that right person.
I’ve searched for love in all of the wrong places, but I finally found it. I found it at what I thought was the end of my life. I found it when I had no fight left in my heart and I was positive that I would not make it through another day. I found the ultimate love of my life at my most broken, shame-filled, messy point in my life, but he loved me in the midst of all of that. If that is not a Hollywood storybook ending, then I don’t know what is.
I love sitting in a room with other people who are in love with Jesus. There’s an undeniable energy and joy in the air when we talk about each of our personal love stories with our Perfect Savior. It’s uplifting, empowering and spiritually moving. But what I love most of all, is watching those I love fall in love with Jesus too. I recently had someone that I care so much about tell me that he is going public with his love story with Jesus through baptism and my heart was flooded with joy. It was overwhelming how happy I was, because the light in his eyes at that moment could have only come from one place; the same place where mine came from. I’ve enjoyed every minute of watching him fall in love with Jesus.
My prayer is that no matter how you have spent this Valentine’s day, you know that your ultimate Valentine, your Perfect Savior, your matchless Prince Charming has been patiently waiting to spend the day with you. He might not be able to buy you flowers, but he bought you with his blood in the ultimate sacrificial act of love for this world. He might not be able to hand you a Hallmark card with a handwritten note, but you have access to the Bible- God’s own personal love letter to you. He might not be able to snuggle up with you on a couch and watch sappy romantic movies, but his outstretched arms are constantly waiting for you to fall into so that he can shower you with his undeserving, unending love. What a perfect Valentine he really is. The King of the Universe, Creator of this earth, Ruler of the heavens and the earth calls you beautiful, valued, and beloved. I hope that this gives you a reason to celebrate today.
