When I talk about the World Race the most common question I get is “how is fundraising going?”. More often than not, I don’t know how to respond to that question. Some days I am over the moon excited about an unexpected donation, but others I feel defeated and empty staring at the blue fundraising tab at the top of my page that has not budged in over a week. This process is overwhelming, and truth be told I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
Ever since I was 16, I have been independent financially. I have worked full time, missed bill payments, opened credit cards in a desperate attempt to get some kind of money, over-drafted my bank account and made more mistakes than I can count when it comes to my finances. Through all of that, I still struggled with the idea of asking for help financially. I was stubborn and in the spirit of all honesty, I still am. When it comes to the World Race and fundraising an extremely large sum of money, I have just been waiting for a miracle. I knew that God would provide a way for me to raise the total amount, I just was not exactly sure how. This week, God has continued to comfort me with His promises that He will continue to provide like he always has, but He has revealed to me that I have to do my part.
A few weeks ago I realized how much I was posting and talking about the World Race and fundraising, and I got extremely self-conscious about it. If I were you, I would have stopped following me, unfriended me or stopped paying attention to my posts by now. That’s okay, I expect that. I would be annoyed too. Actually, I am annoyed. I can’t stand the idea of using social media for fundraising. I cringe at the idea of asking people for financial support. The thought of all the gear I have to buy before training camp in August makes me nauseous. But all of that is necessary.
I’ve had to come to realize that my number of Facebook friends will not hold any value in the Kingdom of Heaven. The number of likes on an Instagram picture has absolutely no significance to God. What will matter is how I pursue my relationship with Christ. The way I love others. And the ways that I am obedient to God’s calling on my life. That’s what I am trying to do through the World Race. All three of those things. God is using the fundraising process to break me down and force me to realize that I cannot do this alone. My self-sufficient, prideful tendencies will not work when it comes to the World Race.
I keep thinking that if I can show people where my heart is really at, people will want to donate. The World Race isn’t an escape from my life’s reality for me. This isn’t a yearlong vacation for me. I know this is going to be spiritual warfare because we haven’t even left yet, and it already is. This is going to be me laying down my own, comfortable and easy life and living a year in complete abandonment to God’s voice.
I keep finding that putting my experiences in Haiti and through this process into words so difficult so I’m just going to tell you about one specific experience with one specific angel that God placed into my life.
This is Kimberly. She attends the school (that looks more like a shack) that we were blessed to spend two different days at while we were in Haiti. I ended up sitting down next to her on our first day there and instantly knew that she was not doing to be leaving my side. We spent the first afternoon at the school attempting to teach the children English using balloons, songs and animal noises. She was filled with so much joy that day. She participated in all of the activities, kept her focus on what was attempting to be taught, all the while never leaving my side. I gave her a big squeeze and a kiss on the cheek before we left, not knowing whether I would ever see her again, but feeling overwhelmed because of her sweet smile and contagious joy.
On our last afternoon in Haiti, we returned to Kimberly’s school to teach vacation bible school for a few hours and I was so excited knowing that I would be able to hold that precious child of God in my arms again. But those last few hours with Kimberly were different. This time the only thing she wanted from me was to be held. She didn’t care that I was drenched in sweat from head to toe. She didn’t care that I probably smelt worse than most of my friends could ever bare. She didn’t care that there were uncontrollable tears streaming down my face at the thought of putting her down and walking away. She just wanted to be held and for those 2 and a half hours, God chose me to be the one to do it. And that’s exactly what I did. I just held her and kept trying to tell her over and over again in my broken attempt at Creole that I loved her and that most importantly… Jesus loved her.
When we did crafts, I held her. When we sang songs, I held her. When we played soccer, I held her. When other kids were tugging at my arms and skirt, I held her. When we were taught the Bible story of the lost sheep by one of my inspiring teammates, I held her. When we were jumping around dancing, clapping and celebrating God’s powerful love for us, I held her. When we said our tear-filled goodbyes to the other students and teachers at the school, I held her.
And I couldn’t help but cry out to God that entire time. I prayed that Kimberly would come to know and love Him the way that I do. I desperately pleaded with Him that she would grow up to understand his vast love for her and His son’s death on the cross for her. I prayed that she would understand how truly beautiful she is and that she would always stand firm in the truth that she is a daughter of the King. I begged Him to keep her from the sickness and death that plagues this world so that she may live her life to the fullest extent and use that life to honor and glorify His name. And when my words for prayer seemed to escape my heart, I just held her and loved her the best way I knew how.
I don’t have the ability to love Kimberly the way she deserves to be loved, but our Heavenly Father does. All I knew how to do was hold her. And my hearts greatest desire is to let Him use me as a vessel to love and hold all of the Kimberly’s around the world that He is going to place in my path. I want these children to understand God’s immeasurable love for them. His love is relentless, incomparable to anything I’ve ever felt, and they deserve to hear that truth and feel that love. Because some of them never have. If they’ve never heard the truth of God’s unending love for them, I want to first show them that love by making it tangible.
I am learning every day to love fundraising because it’s an opportunity for God to show up in all His power and glory and provide through other people. I am consciously having to choose to view it that way because if I don’t, then I resent it. It is exhausting. It’s frustrating. It’s defeating. But God’s power is greater than all of the exhaustion, frustration and feelings of defeat.
**I currently have three different ways to donate…
- Buy an “All Nations” t-shirt for $20 (pre-order/pre-pay only- I can ship it to you if you do not live near me. Please reach out to me if you would like a t-shirt. I can accept cash, check, PayPal, venmo, bank transfer, etc.
- Starting on April 1st and for the entire month of April I will be doing an “adopt-a-date” fundraiser. This calendar board was drawn and designed by my incredibly talented friend Taylor where you can choose to adopt any date (April 1st-April 30th) on that board and donate that amount. Yes, this includes April 1st– I promise you that every single amount helps, even a $1 donation. Sounds crazy right? But it is so true. Sometimes even the smallest gift can mean the most. Does the story of the widow who gave 2 copper coins (everything that she had) in Mark 12:41-44 ring a bell?
- Simply donate. If you don’t necessarily want a t-shirt or have another amount placed on your heart that you wish to donate, there are a few different options to do that. You can donate a one-time amount online with a credit card, set up a monthly amount to be drafted out of your bank account until I am funded, send a check to the Adventures in Missions office (if you select this option- please contact me first so I can give you all the correct information) or you can donate cash if that is easiest for you and I will make sure to get it to the right place.
So here I am… Completely vulnerable and heart wide open asking for you to partner with me on this journey. Because I absolutely cannot do this alone.
