Wait you’re not going????
Nope… not yet at-least.
You may be thinking she’s been planning on going for like two years now…
she already raised so much money…
But she was so excited!
wait what about college…?
oh no. Kassie has lost it.
These are all thoughts that may have gone through your mind the past few months, and yes all those are very true to a degree. We will start with the she has been planning this for years.
Here it goes
Have you ever made plans with someone, very solid plans, but you didn’t actually ask permission from your parents? You may have even mentioned it, but you didn’t get a for sure yes?
Yeah… that’s kinda what I did with God. I made these awesome plans, told him about, even asked, but never waited on my answer. Now I’m not saying God is telling me no, because anything we do for His good He loves. However, sometimes it just doesn’t feel right, and although I didn’t get a no, I also didn’t get a yes.
This “no but yes” was evident during training camp when most of my squad-mates were beyond excited and at peace to be there… But there I was confused and overall not feeling good about what was going on in my heart and head.
The whole week I kept thinking of Jonah. How Jonah was running from where God wanted him. How God didn’t accept Jonah’s fear, rather He sent a great fish to swallow Jonah. How God sent Jonah directly where He intended for him to go.
So there I was, confused and fearful because “wow, this has been a long journey- mentally and physically, growing in relationships with those on the trip and those back home..just to do what, quit?”
That’s when God sent me my fish.
During my 10 days at training camp, my ears were open to everything going on, taking in as much as they could. I heard the good, the bad, and the ugly of the world race. But for me something still wasn’t right.
One day the topic of funds were brought up. Which caught my attention because my funds hadn’t been reached yet. They said if we didn’t reach our funds we could switch over to a shorter trip. Immediately I looked up my possible options & boom! There it was, the perfect switch over.
The two reasons I chose the route I had to start with was because it was going to India and we would be working with traffic victims. The shorter route had both of these, annnnd I had the exact amount to switch over.
I bet you can imagine what was going through my head at this point, “Wait God is this my redirection???”
Buuuuuttt the next few days I did a lot of thinking and settled on finishing what I had started. I was too fearful of disappointing those who had supported me, too fearful of what others would maybe think.
The way home was a nightmare. I had zero peace. Over the next few weeks I talked to leaders, mentors, family, God. Doing all I could to get past the restlessness eating at me. Still no peace what so ever.
I was like Jonah I planned stick to what I thought was best. But that wasn’t what God had planned. The unsettling feeling wouldn’t go away.
I thought back to why I wanted do the World Race in the first place. I looked at the three month option and realized all those desires would be met inside those several months. I actually didn’t have to go on a 9 month race to the ends of the earth in order to do what God was calling me to do.
So here I am, still saying “send me Lord”, but this time to where and when and for how long he wants me there.
Right now I’m learning to love where I am. I’m learning to grow my roots where they are planted. I am helping with a 6th girl group at church. Most of the time they teach me more than I could ever teach them. Most of them have been through things I couldn’t even imagine going through as an 11 year old, and all the while still have a joy that only comes from our Lord.
I’m also learning the importance of solitude. Many men in the Bible learned drawing out from the crowd they could find themselves and hear from the Lord. Jesus did it often. He constantly withdrew himself, and went to a place where he felt alone with his father. And let me tell you, solitude is the hardest thing for me, because I love being with people and constantly going. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing or who I am with, as long as I’m with someone I’m good. Although being in solitude is extremely hard and sometimes just makes me think I’m lonely, I’m striving to be like Christ and I can’t just pick and choose which parts of me is going to serve Him. So with that being said, some days I do just that & sit by myself at the park, in my car, or by the river. I face the uncomfortable feeling of being alone.
In January, I’m getting on a plane to India and Nepal. In India, we will work with special-needs orphans who have been neglected and abandoned by their community for most of their lives. We will be partnering with Sarah’s Covenant Homes (SCH) who serve approximately 150 children with various health and genetic conditions such as cerebral palsy, heart disease, Apert syndrome, Down’s syndrome, and autism. In Nepal, we will be partnering with The Agape Mission International (TAMI) working with at-risk women and children to reach their full potential through education, empowerment, and mentoring grassroots leaders.
And after that we will see where the big man upstairs takes me… so stay tuned!!!!
