Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I can’t help it. Sometimes I am so scared it hurts.
God never said it would be easy, he only said it would be worth it. I know that going on the World Race is something I am being called to do. I have never felt anything stronger in my life than the pull to the race. But sometimes I wonder why. Why me? Why this? Why now? I have to leave everyone I know and love for a year. I have to leave my puppy :(. I am not looking forward to these things. This is not something I take lightly. I have to ask all of my friends and family to help me get there. I have to blog. I normally do not like sharing my personal life or my feelings with anyone, let alone anyone with wifi. This journey is not going to be easy. I will be tested physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I am scared. I am scared that I will be home sick and lonely. I am scared that I will not be enough spiritually. I am scared that I will have to live with strangers for a year. I am scared that I am not ready. I am scared that I will not see my parents on my birthday! I am scared that I will miss out on opportunities in the states. I am scared that all my friends will move on without me while I am gone. I am scared!!!! So many things about this scare me. But, that will not stop me from going and from following this path that I know God has designed for me. I am scared but I am called. I know that God will hold me in his hands throughout this journey! Maybe that is what he is already doing in me. In this fear I know my only hope is to lean into him.
I know this post is crazy and random and jumbled but those are my thoughts and prayers. I will keep yall posted on this crazy journey. I leave you with my crazy thoughts and comforting words from God that I hold close to my heart during this time!
‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10
