Jumping into the world race was similar to jumping off of a cliff with 35 other people with no safety net headed straight for deep water. Some people fell gracefully, some fell with style and some fell like me… straight up belly flop. The fall created confusion, stumbling and rolling around being beat up by the waves.
Remember those 35 other people I jumped in with?? They were the ones to pull me up over the waves when I couldn’t pull myself. They grabbed me by the arms, by the hands and by the neck forcing me into air, helping me breath, showing me who I am and what I was made for. They pointed me towards Jesus. They prayed for me. They loved me. They saw me how Jesus saw me even before I saw it myself.
For eleven months I watched as these amazing people grew together, walked through fire for one another, pulled each other up and and never let go. The bond that we share has been forged by heavenly fire. (Heavenly fire and squatty potties) We have fought like siblings, nursed each other back to physical health, climbed to the top of mountains together and lived in the worst possible conditions as a family.
Then one day the race was over. We all returned back to the United States, back to our families, home towns, old jobs and old community. It was one of the hardest seasons to let end. Walking away from this community was walking away from my heavenly family. We wouldn’t be eating mystery meat in Asia or using squatty potties in the villages of Africa. We wouldn’t be dying of heat on 32 hour travel days or doing anything for a Klondike bar together.
BUT… then came Project Search Light. Seven weeks after the race ended we had the opportunity to join together once more. One more time we would laugh, share, cry and remember together. Coming back was coming home. I got to share my struggles, where I fell and where I needed help with the people who know me best.
The craziest thing to me was that even though my homecoming was rocky and my decisions weren’t always the best I confidently walked back into my squad with a new testimony to share. As I entered back into the squad A community I shared openly about some of life choices I have made as of late without any fear, shame or hinderance. I boldly walked into Project Searchlight expecting my squad to love me where I was at. And they did.
Project searchlight taught me so many things, reminded me of the journey I have lived through and launched me into my next season. I was reminded that I can live an ordinary life extraordinarily. I can confidently walk back into my life without doing different things but doing things differently. Jesus himself lived an ordinary life for 30 years before 3 years of incredible, world changing ministry. If Jesus, the son of God can live an ordinary life then so can I.
Project searchlight brought me back to the community I love in a time I desperately needed them. I realize that community does not come gift wrapped in a basket. It doesn’t come naturally or easily and when we need it but community is worth every single gut wrenching feedback session, every tearful fight, every beautiful, messy moment. I got to bring these wonderful people into my current life, into my mess, into my fears and failures as I am starting the next marathon in my life.
Thank you Adventures in Missions for providing the platform to end the race well, to celebrate together and the push each other off the cliff into the deep end of our next seasons.
