I write this with love in my heart asking you to listen as I share with you a part of my life. A part that I do not share too often: my struggles.
Currently I am struggling. I am struggling to get funds together to go on this amazing Kingdom Journey that God has called me to. On this incredible, life-changing mission trip that I am leaving for in January.
For as long as I can remember I have struggled with the fear of disappointing others around me and letting them down. So much so that that I haven’t been able to actively allow others in to help me with this process. I found myself on my knees tonight crying out to God to take it all from me, to place it all in His hands instead of trying to hold onto it with my own. As I kept telling Him to take it all, I heard him softly speaking to me saying, “I am higher than all of this. You have to put me higher, but in the process of putting me higher, you must not place yourself lower.”
I cannot feed into these lies, these whispers of deceit and isolation, for that is not how He sees me.
In His eyes I am precious. I am loved by Him. That’s who I am. That is my identity. I am not a disappointment, I am not a let down, and I am not a woman that has been given a spirit of fear. But I AM loved, I AM covered with grace and I AM a princess of the Most High King. Nothing will separate that (Romans 8:38-39).
Father I thank you in the trials, through every high and stormy gale, you always prevail. I must continue to remain faithful and trust you with it all. You are a good Father. That’s who YOU ARE.
I will no longer be afraid to ask for help, to partner with people around me, for I know I cannot do this alone. He longs to invite everyone to partner in His mission to seek and save the lost and bring Heaven down to Earth.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him – a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
