This past month in Honduras has been great, busy, and restful in many ways. Coming into this month I hit a wall where everything started to feel weird. I knew I hadn’t been taking care of myself well and hadn’t really “SAT” in a while.
Even when I began realizing that I was not prioritizing myself in my relationship with God, I was still unsure of why things were getting harder, more challenging. Why things went making sense.
He was teaching me something. Breaking me to fully rely and trust in Him. He was trying to teach me how to abide in Him.
John 15 talks about the imagery of the vine and the branches. How God is the vine dresser and we are the branches – which bear fruit. When we place our focuses on him and walk in his grace and love, fruit blooms. But as this fruit is beared, it doesn’t just sit there, it is intended to bear more fruit. An apple from a tree doesn’t just stay in the same condition it started as; it begins to prune.
But no one really likes that part of the apple.
It’s not as pretty as the other, un-blemished parts. You may even bite around that piece, try to cut it off, or even resort to picking out a whole new apple.
It all comes down to this: we all want “good” fruit.
I long to bear good fruit. But fruit prunes, just as ours does too.
In John 15: 2 it discusses this pruning process.
“Every branch of mine that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.”
Jesus longs for us to bear good fruit. As I was sitting and pondering why things were starting to feel off, I realized the purpose behind it. I was being pruned. Pruned to grow more abundantly, but not on my own, but through Him.
For, “As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me (v. 4).”
This pruning process has taught me a lot about the Father. How even though I am aware that good fruit will come, I cannot be focused on that fruit. For fruit springs up from its roots grounded deep in the tree. My fruit will bear naturally when I’m continually rooted and fix my gaze on God as my source. To abide in Him.
One definition of the abide is to pay the price or penalty for. Wow.
Am I willing to go through this process knowing it is for my good? Am I willing to sacrifice my comforts and views of life in order to be broken so that I might receive his riches and goodness fully?
We can’t just keep sitting in the hard stuff. Yes, we are broken. I am a broken and messy person, but I also know that I am loved and I have a father (a king) who calls me his princess. So even though this season can be challenging, I know it is worth it. So keep on pruning. I am not without blemish.
Father, help me to continually fix my eyes on you. You are my root and my source of life and living. Thank you for loving me in my mess and still longing to lavish Your goodness upon me.
I love you Papa.
