I took my youth group to a Student Life conference this weekend and the topic of discussion was "Be Last", based off of Mark 9:35. If you've ever been to a Student Life event, you know it's legit, and you know that it's an event you'll probably never forget.
It is so hard in our culture today, in this "American Dream" lifestyle, to really contemplate and apply the words of Christ in this passage. In our society it is all about putting ME first, getting what I want, doing what I want, getting ahead in the game and climbing the ladder of success and fame. We live in a ME-centered culture where everything is about ME, and we'll push, shove, kick, betray, lie, cheat, steal, bite, claw, and do anything to get to the top. It doesn't matter how we do it, what it takes, who we hurt, we will be darn sure that ME is happy and satisfied. In our culture ME is better than anyone and anything, ME is above everything, and nothing else matters.
I know I'm not the only one who deals with this. I know I'm not the only one who has pride issues. Honestly I've never had this huge desire to be better than EVERYONE. But have I wanted to be better than some? Of course! Have I put my needs and desires before others? Absolutely! We all do at some time or another. But I have to say that though this weekend was for the teenagers, encouraging and challenging them to rise above this world and become great by becoming small, being first by being last, I found myself literally on my hands and knees, face to the ground, bawling my eyes out, having no words to say. I found myself speechless before a Holy God, nothing but my posture and my tears to express the sorrow in my heart for the ways I've behaved, the things I've done, the way I treated others, and the fact that so many times in my life I sought to be first by BEING FIRST. All I could do was cry out to God and say how I was sorry for all the times I've put my desires before His, how I've let my pride take over and blatantly disobeyed Him.
When the idea of the World Race first came to my attention, I fought it, I dismissed it, I flat out told Kari we weren't doing it and I wasn't even going to consider it. I told her and God, "No". Have you ever tried that? Have you ever tried to look God in the face and tell Him "NO"? It doesn't usually work out too well. But I didn't want to go; I didn't even want to think about it! So I told God "No". It wasn't long before He straightened me out. He forced His want through the door that I had already closed and showed me that if I truly loved Him and desired to honor and glorify Him above all else, then there was ABSOLUTELY NO REASON why I shouldn't go.
I have read the "Be Last" passage of Mark 9:35 I don't know how many times throughout my life. Never once has it become more real to me than right now. Kari and I have been given a call, like so many others, to lay down our lives for the sake of the Gospel, to take seriously the words of Christ when He said, "Go". Day after day we will literally be putting ourselves last. Not only that, but we will be serving all of the "Last" people, putting their needs before our own, living and working alongside the "least of these", and I can't wait! I realized once more this weekend that there are people in this world who have never heard of the life changing love of Jesus Christ. "The first will be last, and the LAST will be first." I don't want to be first. My prayer is that in everything God would take away any desire in me to want to be first, to want to put my needs above anyone else. This will never happen until I come down off my high horse and stop trying to be better than the rest. There is nothing and no one better. Christ is better. The ultimate example of "Being Last". May I be more like Christ. May I decrease so that He may increase. Christ is better.
