God is faithful.. I know this.. In my head, but not in my heart. The day I found out that I would not be able to go in April, like I had planned, I was a mess inside. Not because my plans weren’t going right, but because I finally realized that I did not trust God like I thought I did. I had the option to leave in January(4 months away) or June. June seemed so much safer since it was so far away and it would give me ample time to prepare and raise the support. But January, that was a different story! Who could raise $14000 in 4 months? Well, apparently a lot of people can and do raise that much and even more and in a way shorter amount of time.
So, the day I found out, I knew God was asking me to go in January and I was scared out of my mind. I thought I was crazy for even going on the trip to begin with, but now I felt even crazier to think something so huge could just fall into place so well.. Well, so far, God is proving Himself mighty. All of the worrying I have done has added nothing to me. It has only caused me harm and much heartache. Yes, my life has been turned upside down in the best way, but He has done this to shake away the things in me that shouldn’t remain. I have asked for His refining work, and He sure has answered that request with flying colors! All of my walls are beginning to come down. I am starting to see that God is pure and perfect and everything He does is good. HE IS GOOD. All around, holy and perfect. There is nothing in Him but truth, and He will never lead me into deception or darkness. The only way I have been able to see these things about Him has been through this trial. So, whether I am going in January or June, I would still need to trust my Lord just the same. He would still be doing this in my heart regardless of me going or not going. But blessed be His Name for doing this in me. His Word says that He chastens those that He loves. So, those of you who are going through a season of fire and trial, God is chastening you and refining you, because HE IS FAITHFUL. There is no better place to be than in the arms of the One Who holds the world in His hands and makes the earth His footstool.
There is a song by Misty Edwards called, “Baptize my heart,” and there is a line in it that says, “The only safe place is in the center of Your flame, the only safe place is in You.” May we be a people who abide in the very center of God refining fire!
