Exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, physically or emotionally;
Capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt;
Open to moral attack, criticism, or temptation.
During my first week in YWAM last year, God spoke these words through our speaker:
He felt like there were strongholds within the group. One of the strongholds was the fear of vulnerability.
I worked through that fear to some degree during my six months at YWAM. But God continues to open the door further. He constantly asks if I will accept his invitation to step through the door into the life he planned for me so long ago. I feel like he’s telling me to be completely open and honest with my new family and he’ll bless me for my obedience. Taking the first step is always the hardest. Simply said, risk is hard – but there’s no vulnerability without risk, no community without vulnerability, and no peace or life without community.
There can be no vulnerability without risk;
There can be no community without vulnerability;
There can be no peace, and ultimately no life, without community.
– M. Scott Peck
World Race culture is rooted in building a strong community. I love community and doing life with others, but I fear vulnerability. I often turn away from it. I dislike bearing my soul, exposing my struggles, and revealing my thoughts. I don’t care much about taking about myself; I’d much rather sit and listen to someone else talk. And honestly, I haven’t had much practice at being vulnerable because for most of my teenage years, I lacked close friends.
I moved away from my childhood friends at the age of thirteen, a vital time in life. I started 8th grade in a new state without knowing anyone. Although I made friends quickly through my involvement in sports, they weren’t the close friends my heart craved for. They weren't the type of friends to encourage me, speak life over me, or hold me accountable because they weren't Christians. Instead of opening up to my girlfriends about what I was thinking and feeling, I turned away from others out of fear.
The thought often crosses my mind that says, “If others knew my struggles, they wouldn’t accept me.” I also feel like my struggles aren’t as important as what others are going through, which results in me keeping things to myself.
In theory I know vulnerability doesn’t result in hurt when you are vulnerable with the right people. I’ve seen it in action within my team already. Vulnerability sparks true love, acceptance, and commonality. Vulnerability is a sign of trust. My team mates have been opening up during our daily feedback time and it results in a greater love for that person.
I’ve heard it said that the Holy Spirit wants us to fight for our family and true community. God wants to speak to us through relationships as to who we are. If my family and community of believers don’t know what I’m struggling with, they can’t fight on my behalf. The enemy has been attempting to keep me at bay for too long – he attempts to keep me from knowing who I am in Christ and reaching my full potential. He doesn’t want me to experience community because he knows true community brings growth and freedom and he’s literally scared to death of my power and authority in Christ.
I also struggle with being an internal processor – I don’t process by speaking things out. However, the Lord is growing me in this area. My team has a time of feedback every day where we talk about the day, strengths and areas of growth we see in each other. This is the heart of community – raising each other up into the men and women God called us to be. We have to be honest, intentional, and loving with each other. We have to be unoffendable.
I understand now that the vulnerability I've always felt is the greatest strength a person can have.
You can't experience life without feeling life.
What I've learned is that being vulnerable to somebody you love is not a weakness, it's a strength.
– Elisabeth Shue
I’m grateful for the community God has blessed me with. I’m blessed by the five amazing, sold-out for Jesus, spirit-filled women whom are the friends I never had as a youth! I’m saying “YES!” to the Lord and will gladly step through the door he’s held open for me. I will risk everything for vulnerability if that paves the way for true community, peace, life and growth!
