Adventures WorldRace SethBarnes Sponsorship Giving

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"We are crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves, and learned to rely on God, who raises the dead."
2 Corinthians 1:8-9

This past month in Malaysia has been a tough season. I often found myself thinking about home, wanting to be home, not wanting to finish the Race, not having the strength or desire to finish the Race; I even found myself choosing not to pick up my cross every day. I found myself struggling to accept the path the Lord is leading me down – many times wishing the Lord has other plans for me and I wonder why the Lord asked me to spread his name. The fact that Christmas was this month certainly didn't help – it's the season when family is reunited – all but me who currently lives half way around the world!

Early last week, I sent a quick email home explaining my feelings. This is the response I received:

The big thing you are beginning to confront is that the World Race is no longer an exciting vacation but has now become a ministry job. It has lost it's shiny sense of newness and has become something you have to work at. Relationships are hard and require work. Travel is hard and is work. Planning and overseeing a Christmas program is hard work and is a job. The list goes on but hope you can see the point.
 
That doesn't take away the significance of its importance but it does change how you view it, deal with it, and fulfill its responsibilities. It's a job that requires your best efforts and has immeasurable eternal value.
 
You are an amazing woman with unlimited passion to make a deep and broad impact on many people. Use this transition season to learn to see it from a new vantage point.
 
Allow it to invite you to invest with a greater awareness of your own sense of self and divine purpose that come from deep within your heart and soul, not merely an expression of human effort or an adrenaline rush. It's Holy Spirit motivation that will keep you going after the flesh has quit and given up.
 
Keep on keeping on! Run strong to finish the race set before you!
 
My dad certainly has a gift of understanding my disjointed thoughts, summarizing them, then speaking encouraging words that sets my mind straight.
 
In a later message, I was encouraged further through a word from a recent sermon at my home church. My pastor encouraged the congregation to pray this simply prayer during a spiritual battle:
 
"God, do what ONLY you can do!"
 
This simple prayer has been marinating in my mind for roughly one week. It reminded me of a song by Will Reagan entitled "There's No Better Time"
 
In my heart tonight do what only you can do!
 
On Friday morning, my team traveled back to Kuala Lumpur. As we travel by train, I was listening to my iPod and praying for God to do what ONLY he can do! During this time, it occurred to me that lessons God teaches in past seasons are NOT items that can be checked off a list as completed – "Once I learn to trust God, I'm good to go for the rest of my life!" – Nope! Each lesson is something that has to be continuously walked out – moment by moment, day by day!

During my season in YWAM last year, I learned how to trust God verses myself. I learned to trust him despite my abilities, qualifications or feelings. I'm having to learn this lesson once again. I've been standing at a crossroads and God is asking me which way I want to go. He's asking if I'm going to trust in him or in myself. Am I going to continue carrying my burdens or will I hand them over to him? Will I seek him for the drive, passion, and will to push on in order to run the race ahead?

God is the only one who can help me through the next 7 months. He is the only one worth living for. The path he's leading me down is uniquely right for me. As I grow closer to him, the closer I am to becoming my true identity, the one he designed me to be. Because I am one of a kind, the path I'm traveling down diverges from that of others. However, he WILL enable me to enjoy the adventure of finding myself through losing myself in him!

I don't recall the moment it happened, but God did what ONLY he can do – he granted me peace of mind, the will to push through, the desire to complete the race set before me. I am still looking forward to my return home, but I also want to enjoy the adventure I'm on with myself, my team, and ultimately with Jesus – this is an adventure of a lifetime! I want to enjoy the adventure of finding myself through losing myself in him!

A few short days ago I didn't want to take up my cross. Now, I willingly pick it up. It may continue to be a conscious decision that is made in each moment, but this journey is bigger than anything I can comprehend. It's way bigger than me. It's about eternity and offering others the opportunity to spend eternity with the Lord in heaven. It's about proclaiming the name of Jesus no matter the cost. Jesus paid the ultimate price; I can give the next 7 months in total surrender to him – It's nothing in comparison.

Last night was our first night of debrief, every two months the entire squad comes together for a few days of rest, relaxation, a time to process, and be filled back up. We met at the Phnom Penh YWAM base for worship. During worship, the floor was open for people to speak whatever God put on their hearts.

Several people came forward and shared a word from the Lord or something God has taught them over the last two months. We were encouraged that the WR is 11 months – we may be at a place of wanting to give up, at a place where the allure of traveling is over, at a place of desiring the comforts of home, but this is the time to press in harder than before, to surrender to the process! 

It's funny how the enemy often attacks us in ways that make us feel alone or like we're the only one who feels a particular way. That's a flat out lie! Many within the squad are feeling the same way or dealing with similar struggles.

When the night ended, I remembered why I'm on this journey. I'm doing it because Jesus called me – he asked me to spread his name and I accepted his invitation.

I chose to spread the gospel to the nations. I chose to glorify God with my life. So that's what I'm doing!