As the Race was drawing to a near, a typical conversational point would be, "Are you ready to go home?" I would always answer honestly, and my honest answer was "Yes!".
I wasn't ready for the World Race to be over.
I wasn't ready to say goodbye to my team – women who had become my family and people to had come to know me better than anyone else in my life.
I wasn't ready to stop traveling to new places and cultures.
I knew, however, that my season on the Race was ending and I had come to accept that.
I knew I couldn't stay on the Race forever.
I knew The Lord had a new calling for me, along with new challenges.
I often used this analogy when discussing this topic with my team mates:
We are like fish in a fish bowl – we can only grow as large as our bowl will allow us to. We need a new bowl, one that's bigger in order to continue growing. We are reaching the capacity of our current environment.
This is why I answered yes to that question.
I knew I would only continue to grow if my environment and circumstances also changed.
I've been home now for exactly 37 days (I only know this because I just counted on the calendar – I have NOT been keeping track!) During the past 37 days, I have been transferred into a larger fish bowl. It's been exciting and scary! I've been confronted head-on with new challenges – ones I knew I would be faced with – however, I still haven't figured out how to navigate them.
During the last year I have lived in a safe environment – one where we loved wholeheartedly and unconditionally. We made allowances for each others' faults. We put others' and their needs before our own. Our culture provided the framework to call each other up into greatness – but this was something we all signed up for. We understood that these conversations were hard and uncomfortable for those involved, but we also knew that the benefits outweighed the risk!
What I'm having to learn is how to give feedback to those who haven't willingly signed up for it – people who may be unfamiliar with feedback – people who don't know that the ONLY acceptable response to feedback is "THANK YOU".
I truly believe we all desire greatness; deep down we all want to be the men and women God created us to be – unfortunately, many people never reach the level of greatness – they don't have people in their lives who are willing to have the hard conversations. No one likes being told they're doing something wrong or how they may be falling short – luckily, feedback isn't about telling someone how they're failing or what they're doing wrong – it's about speaking to the potential. It's about calling what may not exist into existence.
God, I pray for strength and boldness. I need your Spirit to guide me and to give me wisdom and discernment. And ultimately, I need you to speak through me. Fill me with your love and light. God, I pray that your love would flow through me and be an example to others!
