Ministry this month has looked quite a bit different than last month. Ministry has been more internally focused – by which I mean, it's more about what the Lord is doing within our house of 19 women, how we're ministering to one another, and ultimately what the Lord is doing in each woman individually.
Don't get me wrong – we are certainly making a significant difference in Carrefour through prayer walks, street evangelism, preaching nightly at Revival, and countless other ministries. The most evident impact we've made is the way the atmosphere has shifted. While the spiritual world is unseen, we feel the difference our presence and prayers have made. Since anointing the earth in the name of Jesus Christ (read my last blog for details on that!), God has watered many seeds through actual rain. The streets are not as heavy or dark because we imparted the freedom and light of Jesus Christ throughout the city. We believe our impact is permanent and it will bless the entire country.
While we were still in the DR last month, my team met one night for an ATL (Ask The Lord) session. The purpose of this prayer meeting was to ask the Lord about our ministry and time in Haiti. He spoke some interesting words through my team members:
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White pepper
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White sand
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White lily
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Bride walking down the aisle
We concluded that the common theme was PURITY. We also concluded that purity refers to aspects other than sexual purity. We were excited to see what the Lord had in store for us during our month in Haiti.
Fast forward to the present; we've been in Haiti for 17 days now and the word purity is exactly what this month has been about.
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Chains have been broken
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Prison doors have been open
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Lies have been renounced and replaced with truth
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Forgiveness has been granted
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Hearts have been healed
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Purity has been restored
This isn't even the tip of the iceberg. Two mighty women of God have experience leading an inner healing course, which will take place tomorrow afternoon. I believe that more freedom, forgiveness, healing and insight will come as a result.
God has been working in my heart as well. I've been struggling with comparing mine and the Lord's relationship with that of others. Not a good idea!
I've also struggled with comparing the way the Lord speaks to me against the way he speaks to others. Again, not a good idea!
Every night after dinner, all the women of the house meet together for a time of prophecy. One name is drawn from the hat and that woman is seated on the "hot seat". Then we pray and ask the Lord for words, pictures, and verses for that woman.
It's been a powerful time.
However, it's also been a bit of a struggle because God doesn't speak to me in the way he speaks to the other women.
Most of the women receive vivid pictures and insightful words.
I want those pictures and cool words.
God and I have been hashing some things out over the last few days. I've been venting and telling him that I wished our relationship was more like so-and-so's and I wish he spoke to me differently.
Since then, I decided to walk in the opposite spirit. Though I still wished things were different and I wasn't quite satisfied with the status quo, I would choose to accept the ways things were. I would choose to accept the fact that the Lord has wired me differently and as a result our relationship looks different and he speaks to me differently.
It's funny how God has spoken through me in the last few days since making the decision to walk in the opposite spirit.
On Tuesday night, I had the revelation that the way the Lord speaks to me, which is through scripture, forces people to turn to his word. During hot seat on that same night, the Lord gave me two verses for the hot seat victim and when I shared them with her, I only gave her the references. Later, it was mentioned that that girl would rather worship the Lord than read her Bible, but since I only gave her the references, she was forced to turn to her Bible to find out what it said.
Last night, during hot seat, the Lord gave me another verse for the hot seat victim. It was a verse I wasn't familiar with, so I looked it up before sharing it. I read it and thought to myself, "I don't want to share that!" Then I asked the Lord to give me confirmation to share the verse. It didn't come. However, he continued to speak and gave me a vision to share. It went perfectly with the two previous pictures that were shared so I quickly spoke up and shared what I saw. I decided to give her the verse, as well.
Later that night, my team looked up the verse. Upon reading it, the verse went perfectly with the picture I shared and the two pictures immediately before me. It also complimented other themes.
When I came into the house later, I heard the girl reading the verse. She was telling her team how perfectly it went along with various themes and pictures. Another girl said, "Karen, you intrigue me. The way God speaks to you is so cool."
Several people have commented on my knowledge of the word by calling me a "walking Bible" or "the library". Other people have looked through my Bible and made comments on the amount of information inside.
Ok, God, I get it – you bless others through the way you speak to me and you bless me through it too. I will accept it, embrace it, and enjoy it.
This month has been nothing short of a time of purity for me, as well. God has brought me to a place of not only accepting my differences but embracing them too. He is teaching me that I am truly fearfully and wonderfully made.
