The moment she finished that statement, something clicked inside of me.
And I completely related.
I began to tune out what Monica was saying (Sorry Monica!); I allowed my mind to wander, to process her statement.
My mind was filled with thoughts. Thoughts of when my distrust began, why don't I trust the Lord, if not trusting the Lord was affecting our relationship …
Of course NOT TRUSTING THE LORD WAS AFFECTING OUR RELATIONSHIP! How could it not!
Relationships are build on the very existence of TRUST!
I began to think about how my personal prayer times have been lacking. They lack in the sense that I struggle with going deep with the Lord. There are areas that are off limits – that I don't tend to pray for because I don't trust them in the Lord's hands.
I typically find time in my daily schedule to ready my Bible, whether it's only a few verses or a few chapters. But I don't schedule time to pray because I find it hard to simply sit at his feet. I struggle with telling him about my day. I struggle with telling him my struggles. I struggle with telling him my dreams. I struggle with giving him my heart.
In some regards, it's because:
I don't believe that God will answer my prayers. I won't answer your prayers in the way you want! Just as my thought's are higher than your thoughts so are my way are higher than your ways. Remember,I am able to accomplish infinitely more than you might ask or think.
I don't believe God will give me my heart's desires. Take delight in Me, and I will give you are heart's desires!
I don't believe God will handle my heart with care. I am your strength and shield. You can trust me with all of your heart; I will help you and fill your heart with joy!
In other regards, it's not even a matter of distrusting the Lord at all; rather, I simply struggle with communicating in general. I don't internalize instinctively. I don't share my thoughts and feelings easily, whether it's with friends; family, or even Jesus.
Praying and pouring my heart out to the Lord is something I need to be more intentional about. When I learn how to do it with the Lord, I believe it will become easier to do on a daily basis with family and friends, or vice versa.
Recently, I've been receiving lessons in praying from my four year old niece, Mackenzie. My sister and mom have been telling Mackenzie about my trip and about some of our struggles, such as the ants eating our tents last month and a robbery a team experienced during our month in Haiti. Mackenzie has been praying for my trip regularly; however, more recently her prayers have expanded from praying for my safety, to asking God to keep us safe from the ants, and that the computers and passports stolen would be returned to us!
Childlike faith is a beautiful thing! And it has challenged me to be more like Mackenzie! God wants us to pray for everything, no matter its significance. She has learned that early in life!
I hope her simply yet powerful prayer will bless and encourage you – her personality definitely comes through and her authority makes me smile!
I am currently in Malaysia. My team and I are staying in a hostel (Thank you Jesus for the amazing accommodations!) in Kuala Lumpur. We arrived on Sunday, December 2 and will be staying in the hostel until December 10.
So far, it has been a time of great rest!
Our contacts asked that we spend the next few days in PRAYER! They want us to go on prayer walks around the city and prayer drives (not sure what this is but it sounds fun!). They want us to spend time preparing ourselves the remainder of the month.
I think it's funny that I want and need to spend more time in prayer and that's a lot of what our ministry is about this month! Jesus certainly knows our needs whether we specifically lift them up in prayer or not!
Our contacts understand how important prayer is and how it sets everything else into place. Pastor Edwin's wife recently quit her job in order to spend more time in prayer contenting for her husband and his ministry! I could definitely learn a few lessons in prayer from her! She has been praying that the Lord would provide their family with a new place to live and boy oh boy did the Lord answer! The Lord led her to a fully furnished apartment much closer to the church!
"NEVER STOP PRAYING!" 1 Thessalonians 5:17
