I would like to apologize in advance for my poor grammar throughout all my blogging! I have never been good at writing or English but I can promise I will speak from the heart:) so bare with me…
How it all happened: Well, to be honest I never had an exact moment where I heard Gods voice telling me to go. The first time I discovered The World Race online, I thought to myself, “ummm no way!” There was no way I was going to leave behind all my friends, family, and my sweet dog Oreo for almost a year. I am extremely attached to my dog by the way, so the race was out of the questions for me. But for some reason after I clicked off the webpage, I couldn’t stop thinking about it! I was so curious and wanted to find out more. I started reading other Racers blogs and watching videos posted on the website. A few of them made me cry they were so touching! The trip started sounding better and better. Sooo I figured, I’ll just apply not expecting to get accepted. I thought surely there are many stronger and more mature Christians out there who are way more equipped than me to go serve as a missionary. Well, to my surprise, two weeks later I received a phone call telling me I got accepted. I couldn’t believe it! “Am I really doing this” I think to myself all the time. My heart is constantly feeling so many emotions about The Race, but I know this is what God wants to do so I’m going no matter what! Let me tell you, living in a tent and sleeping with bugs and being smelly will definitely be a HUGE weakness of mine, but I’m able to forget about all that because MY desire to share the love of Christ with the lost and broken is so much stronger than my FEAR of bugs! God uses our weaknesses to make us stronger! Plus my teammates will be stinky too so it will be okay:)
Why did I decide to sign up for the race? My mission trip search began because, I started to feel like God was asking me to do more with my life, like there was more out there that he wanted me to pursue. I yearn to do something so unexpected of me so that I in exchange will be forced to change as a person. I’m excited for anyway God wants to use me, although I really hope I will get to use my nursing skills while I’m there! I am sure I will be put in many situations where all I can do is rely on God to be my strength, but this is how we grow to become more like Him! All this love I have in my heart is ready to come out and say hello to the world:)
My life leading up to the Race:To make a very long story short, I grew up in church my whole life, went to church every Sunday and called myself a Christian. I thought I was such a strong Christian and knew everything I needed to know about God. But the truth is…I KNEW nothing! I was a lukewarm Christian only giving half of myself to God. I didn’t truly understand Christ’s love for me or the price he paid so that I may enjoy this life. I thought I could go to church every Sunday and in the mean time just do my own thing, and maybe read the bible if I was feeling like I needed some instruction on my life. I thought this life was great. I was having a blast dating boys, partying, and doing things my way. This stuff filled this empty place in my heart…but it only lasted for awhile. That empty place grew and grew until I hit a breaking point. So I started to really evaluate my life. I looked back and thought about my happiest times…then I remembered when I was so on fire for God and all I wanted to do was please him…I think I was like 12 or 13. How did I let myself slip away…well, I got so consumed with the things of this world that I lost my joy. I was so focused on circumstantial happiness and things that I thought made me happy were actually pulling me further away from God. God wants so badly to fill that empty spot in our hearts. He wants to show us that if we seek him first, then all else will fall into place as he planned and we won’t need to look to things of thisworld to make us happy. After soul searching, I began to draw closer to Him, asking Him to soften my heart and mold me into who He wants me to be. I didn’t agree with what he was asking me to do: leave my current relationship and move to a strange city by myself. But I decided to try things His way this time. So, I packed up and moved to Baltimore with a broken heart and not knowing anyone. But God sure does make a way. I found an amazing church, started making great friends, began a women’s bible study with my sister, and am working at a great hospital. This definitely hasn’t been an easy journey for me. I have moments all the time when all I want to do is turn back to my old life where I was happy, but then I remember how far God has brought me and what He did for me. That happiness I felt was temporary and the joy of the Lord is constant. Over the past few months that I’ve lived here in Baltimore, God has been pruning me. Pruning me for the Race! This verse has been the story of my life:
Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. John 15:2 ESV
God truly is so amazing and Bigger than I ever imagined and I can't wait for this exciting next chapter in my life! I am so thankful for how far he has brought me and where he's going to take me!
