There has been something about being in Haiti this month that has made me very aware of my heart. Maybe it’s because this month we have a lot more alone time to process what is really going on in our hearts. I used to pray all the time asking God to help me change my heart, until one day God woke me up saying “Karen, I’m the only one who can change your heart.” This whole time I had this crazy idea that I could fix my broken self. Then I saw that I failed at every attempt. When I started to look to God and trust him, He opened my eyes to see the truth. He is changing my heart in so many ways…he is at work in it constantly. I still think sometimes how can he handle my heart? It’s so congested filled with so much junk. How is this crazy heart of mine gonna be changed and when will I be this woman God desires me to be?
When I start to think like this…God reminds me… “Karen, I hold your heart in my hands, I’m excited to change your crazy heart and everything that concerns you..concerns me too. Your heart is congested, but I got it covered. Look to me, don’t worry about everything you need to change because then you will forget about me. It’s ok your broken inside, I love you despite your brokenness. It is gonna take time, I’m working on your cracked heart and I’m filling the cracks with my overwhelming love. Trust me, look to me and I will be your place of rest.”
Below is a chorus from one of my favorite songs called “Love” by The Bridge Band.
“He is taking my heart away and showing me how to love. God your spirit is alive in me and showing me how to be….how to love…and is taking my heart away, and gave it a home to stay. Your love is shaking me and my heart is breaking for you.” Oh how this song speaks to my heart! How refreshing and comforting to know that by loving and seeking Christ more and more, my heart changes in the process! God’s hand is my hearts home! Those words truly have such a special place in my heart!
What a sweet thing it is to be broken! It’s not fun feeling broken but knowing that God is breaking me so I can be more like him….is oh so sweet! I may not feel Him close all the time but I do find comfort knowing that He is closer than my breath and has his arms wrapped around me. Faith is about the unseen, and I have faith God is with me all the time taking my brokenness and transforming it into sweetness!
