As I’ve started raising funds for the World Race, I’ve also started asking myself what exactly people are supporting by supporting me. I’ve supported many missionaries over the years, for both short term trips and long-term missions, and always because I’ve believed in their causes, and thought that my support was going to eventually make life better for someone else. I’ve never been the one raising funds though, and the experience is really challenging me.
When I first started my fundraising efforts, I’ll be honest, I felt guilty asking people to support me. I thought it sounded like too much fun to be a mission trip, and some people would think I was asking for money to take a long, sweet vacation (I’ve heard some of this already). And for those who supported me wholeheartedly and unquestioningly, I felt guilty that I would let them down by not doing enough. What if I can’t help enough people, what if I don’t change lives for the better? It sounds great, “the World Race”, bringing love and goodness to people all over the world–but what if I can’t do that? Then my family and friends and strangers I’ve met have bought into a vision that I can’t deliver on. I kept hearing and reading from current racers and Race alums that the Race is a very personal, life-changing experience for the participants. Would that make it more about me than the people I’m going to minister to? If that’s the case, I felt like I was deceiving people in asking them to support the mission.
I wrestled with this for a few weeks. Ultimately, I’ve learned that the Race is a very personal experience for participants because it’s impossible to do the Lord’s work and not be changed. The more you serve and love others, the more the Lord shapes your heart. So while it will no doubt end up being a time of great internal growth and change for me, that can’t happen unless it is first an outward service for others.
Coming to terms with this has brought on a new challenge though: am I waiting until I leave to start serving and loving others? If people are supporting me to go out and spread the love of the Father to the world, but I’m not already doing that where I am now, do I really have the heart of a servant?
I’ve been hearing from the Lord very clearly that I need to love others better, I need to take better care of his people. I recently finished reading this fiction book about a guy named Corrigan who just extremely and radically loved everyone, especially the lowest and most miserable people he could find, and I felt so convicted. Why don’t I love people like Corrigan does? The Lord said I don’t look for opportunities. I kept hearing this over and over for weeks and I wanted to scream “with what time, Lord?!” I was working Mon-Sat and working at church on Sunday. Then I was reading the Bible one night recently, and I turned over to the book of James (side note: if you’re feeling convicted about not loving others well, and you’re trying to ignore that feeling, DON’T read James.) Anyway, I’ve probably read this verse a hundred times and it never struck me, but suddenly James 4:17 was screaming at me : “Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.” So, hearing from the Lord that I needed to give more time and look for more opportunities to serve others, but NOT doing it, is sin. Period.
Anyway, that has translated into me cutting back some at work to volunteer, and praying that I don’t miss an opportunity to share God’s love with someone. I don’t want to wait until I leave for the Race to serve God’s people, I want to be prepared now for a lifetime of doing to Lord’s work, wherever I am. What about you, reader? How are you loving others?
