The weeks leading up to training camp were really hard for me. I was so afraid of what the week held, mainly because no one would tell me what the week held. Being on the other side of it I understand that is just part of the process. Not that it made it any easier for me, but it was a necessary evil. Honestly, one of the things I heard about training camp was that it was a week of learning about freedom in Christ, and for some reason this thought scared me. I was so fearful of the issues that would come to the surface that I didn’t even know I was dealing with.
That sounds so ridiculous to say now!
But I went. And God brought many things to the surface. Some things I knew I was dealing with, some things I knew were a problem but couldn’t articulate the issue, and some things I had NO CLUE were holding me back from the freedom only HE can bring.
One of my biggest revelations of the week was that God really loves ME. I know, that seems so basic, but for so long it was just something I said and didn’t really understand or believe. But on the first night of worship it hit me like a ton of bricks. I got it for the first time. He loves me regardless of anything I have done because HE made me.
I also learned that I had been judging people based on their worship style. I couldn’t understand how you could worship without wanting to raise your hands. But that all changed on the second night when I was standing there with my hands in my hands in my pockets, because I was freezing, and all of a sudden I was sobbing. The Holy Spirit spoke to me so much in those moments and my hands never left my pockets and my feet barely left the spot in which I was standing. Needless to say, I learned that you don’t have to be raising your hands or dancing around to be worshiping or hearing from God.
God also showed me that He can use me. One of my biggest doubts about going on this trip was that I didn’t have any expierence praying the pray of salvation with someone or praying healing in their body and them being healed. Well, I had the opportunity to pray healing over several people at camp. Most of the time I was praying with the group, but one time it was just my voice praying. And while I take no credit in the actually healing (obviously that was all GOD) He showed me that He can use my prayers and people can be healed.
I left camp with such an overwhelming joy, a joy that hasn't filled my soul for so long. I cannot wait to see what God has in store in my life these next few months leading up to the Race as well as my time on the Race!!
Speaking of the Race: I am still $2871 away from my next deadline. If I could ask you to do one thing it would be to please share my blog and my story on your social media sites. If I don’t raise these funds by December 1st, I cannot launch with my team in January. Thank you so much for all those who have helped already and for those who are still going to give!
