Well that is when the calendar and the lovely people at Adventures say my Race begins, on January 8th. For me though, my Race starts in 12 days. Because in 12 days I have to leave the place I have called home for the past 7 and a half years. In 12 days I have to leave my friends who have become family. In 12 days I have to leave the little girl and her parents who I have come to love in the last 3 and a half years.
In 12 days I have to leave my comfort zone. My safety net. My home.
I know I will be leaving Orlando for “home”, the one that include my actual family and all the place where I grew up, and I am grateful that I will have 11 days to spend with those people and places before I leave for a year, but I can’t even think about that in these last few moments in Orlando. No, recently if I am left to long with my thoughts I can only think about the overwhelming sadness that I am about to encounter in these goodbyes.
It was during one of these moments that I had this horrifying thought.
Allow me to let you into my mind for a moment:
“OH NO! I am going to have 11 days to figure out how to cope with not having my friends around, then
another 4 days visiting with Aunt Kathy in Maryland before I get to launch. But they are allowing parents to
come to launch, and some of my squad mates have never been away from their family. What if launch is
just a big cry fest! I don’t know that I can do that!”
So I did the only thing I knew to do: I emailed out wonderful mobilizer Kacie! And what I got in response from her has been truly eye opening and life changing already. She told me there are two types of people: Thermometers and Thermostats. Thermometers read the temperature of room and then reflect it, while thermostats set the temperature of the room. She told me that while I can’t control what emotions I am feeling I can control my reactions to them. I needed to learn to be a thermostat so I could rejoice and mourn with my fellow squad mates at launch, but not let their emotions effect my emotions and to be there for them if they needed me.
So here I am, 12 days from the start of my race, and while I am still sad that I have to say goodbye, I am no longer overwhelmed with this sadness. I am ready to embrace the Race. I am ready to embrace my squad mates and help set the tone for launch. I am ready to see what God is going to do not only in my life in the next year, but in the lives of all those I love and am leaving behind.
I am ready to be a thermostat.
