Enough

I have been living in a clouded haze of emotions for the last few weeks.  
In the midst of this haze, God has spoken loudly some days, and quietly on others.
Today, I went to coffee with a missionary friend of mine, and sitting across the table, hearing all of these stories about God's saving grace to Tanzania, my mind was clear.
Completely clear, for the first time in weeks.
I am a missionary.
I am flawed, I am unbelievably sinful, and I am in constant need of saving.
But I am a missionary.
Jaded missionary that I am, I have chosen worry and anxiety over my Lord in these last few weeks.
And as I sat across the table, the Lord got ahold of my heart.
"Karah, if you believed I was enough, nothing else would matter."
I am listening, Lord.
You do what You will.
I will always believe that You are my Sustainer, the maker of my heart, and the holder of my hand.
But most of all, I believe that You are enough.
Compliments from a man are not enough.
Friendship is not enough.
Being loved by all is not enough.
Having control of the details of my trip are not enough.
You are enough.
More than enough.
And I am sorry for making You anything less or settling for anything less.