There's something about being out of your comfort zone that shakes you to your core. It's like trying to walk on ice. Every step is unsteady and unsure. Your insides long to turn around to the security that you've become so accustomed to but your mind keeps marching you forward. You keep moving, planting one foot in front of the other.
Training camp was thousands of miles away from my comfort zone. Very literally, training camp was in the middle of nowhere. I could hardly speak in between sobs for the first two days. I didn't know a soul on my squad and all of this talk about intimacy and vulnerability had me aching to run all the way back to Missouri.
By day three, I began to ease my way into my surroundings. I started having conversations with people without sobbing for no reason. And I began to see the reason for my tears. I don't like to feel things. In fact, I avoid feeling at all costs. I hate pain and will run to Timbuktu to get away from it. God specifically lured me out into the middle of nowhere, removed any security blankets I had, and placed me with people I had never met to get me to feel something. Even now, I don't really know what I was feeling, but I was feeling something. When I began to feel, God began to come closer and closer. I wasn't keeping Him at arms length anymore. I was putting down my defenses and trusting.
Training camp was nothing like I expected. It was so much better. You see vulnerability in it's most beautiful forms. Imperfection is embraced and not mocked. Grieving is healing. Transparency is encouraged. Future racers, take off your mask before you walk into camp. No one wants you to be the most put together. I promise you, you will be accepted as who you are. Everyone belongs.
And to everyone else, freedom comes from facing pain head on and letting Jesus heal you. Sometimes healing doesn't look like what you would expect. Sometimes it isn't just waiting for the pain to go away. Sometimes it just means that Jesus comes and sits in your pain with you until He takes your hand and beckons you to move on. He wants to speak to you. Regardless of your past or your present, He wants to speak to you. Lastly, embrace the mess of walking outside of your comfort zone. The grandest adventures come into your life that way. Who knows, maybe you'll end up traveling the world to tell 11 countries about Jesus in 11 months?
I love you all.
Financial update: I'm $1,000 away from being able to launch in ONE MONTH. I have until June 12th to raise this money. If you feel led to donate or want to help in my fundraising, please let me know ASAP. Any help counts. Thanks so much for the love.
