Being a world racer is pretty cool. In the past six and a half months I have traveled to nine different countries in two continents. I have taken a ride on an elephant in Thailand, eaten a tarantula in Cambodia, watched the sun rise over the tallest mountain in Albania, and followed my roots back to former Yugoslavia. The race is full of adventure, it's full of abnormalities, it's full of excitement. Except when it's not.
It's true. The World Race has provided me with amazing opportunities to love and serve my God and his people all over the world, as well as opportunities to experience more of this big world our Creator has molded. And it has been jam packed full of adventure, newness, and excitement. But what happens when the experiences become normal? What happens when the newness of this bizarre lifestyle doesn't seem so new anymore? It happens, trust me. Somewhere between the long travel days, the lack of beds, and the unfamiliar foods it's easy to find yourself longing for home, longing for America. People check out. People start planning their lives for after the race. The crazy adventure we call The World Race no longer satisfies.
Our absence back at home has become the new normal for our friends and families. Even though we know we are dearly loved by many, by month seven a bulk of the encouraging emails, Facebook messages, and blog comments have ceased. It's easy to feel forgotten, but life goes on even when you're on the other side of the world. Personally, I have seen the number of times each of my blogs is viewed slowly decrease by a solid 50 percent, and I have $1000 left to raise in support that just does not seem to want to come in. The support I had actively rallying behind me the first few months of the race can no longer bring satisfaction.
Route changes happen. A lot. My squad had eight country changes between training camp and month six on the field. The changes included losing most of the countries I was the most excited for. Not only that, but our changes were so drastic that we went from a completely summer route to a route with only three summer months. Finding satisfaction in your route and the countries you're the most excited for just doesn't work out.
But that's just the thing: it was never meant to.
The adventure of the race was never meant to bring satisfaction. The support of your friends and family back home was never meant to bring satisfaction. The places and countries you visit were never meant to bring satisfaction. Because only one thing can…and that's Jesus. That's a lesson I've had to learn over and over again, including on this trip.
For most people, beginning the race is an adrenaline rush…but I had a much different experience. The beginning of the race back in China was extremely challenging for me. I looked for satisfaction all around me but could not seem to find it. After spending some time with the Lord and debating whether or not I should throw in the towel and go home, I had a revelation. I recently found this in my journal from the beginning of the race.
"I want to 100% mean it when I say I surrender all to you, God. Everything. I surrender to you my emotions. I surrender to you my physical location. I surrender to you my blog. I surrender to you my fears. I am yours….I want to make the most of every moment here. All for you. YOU are why I'm here. YOU are why I'm on the race. YOU are my hope. YOU are worth it. This year isn't about me. It isn't about whether or not I enjoy the city I'm in. It isn't about how comfortable I am. It's about YOU. And if it's about anything else- it's not worth being here."
I ran across that journal entry last month in Albania, and it couldn't have happened at a better time. Month six was hard for me. I was feeling a little apathetic, a little tired of this whole travel thing, and a little disappointed in my lack of passion. That journal entry reminded me of why I'm on this trip. It reminded me of the passion filled month I had in China after surrendering it completely to the Lord. It reminded me of what I wanted this year to look like. I can honestly say that those reminders and realizations were a turning point for me. I decided to give my heart to Jesus and let him shape it for month seven. I have been amazed this month at how different it has felt. I feel renewed passion, joy, love, and excitement. And it has nothing to do with being in Serbia. It has nothing to do with adventures, and it has nothing to do with loved ones back at home. I have experienced a renewal in my heart this month because of Jesus. That's it. That's all it took. More of Him and less of me.
This blog post is meant to be an encouragement, not only for you all, but for me. If I ever find myself lacking passion and joy again (which is sure to happen), I hope I can look back on the lessons God has taught me on the field so far and find the inspiration to look to the Lord yet again. Because it is always, always worth it.
Love,
Kara
