It's a scary thing when it seems something is about to slip through your hands; realizing you have no control.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Last Saturday I drove out to a family member's church about 30 minutes away to help out with a community outreach. That Saturday was cold and rainy all day long. As I was making the trek back to my apartment, I realized I was about to miss my exit. I turned my wheel and headed for the off-ramp rather abruptly. It was then that my tires skidded on the slippery road and I hydroplaned. I completely lost control of my car. I was swerving all over the interstate and spinning in circles in the middle of the two lanes. In the distance I could see cars coming towards me and I began to panic. I saw the edge of the road approaching, followed by a large hill. I braced myself for the sounds of crunching metal and screeching brakes. I braced myself for the pain I was sure to feel and the uncertainty of making it out alive. Suddenly I felt my car take one last swerve that turned me towards the oncoming traffic and plunged me down the hill backwards….
This last semester has completely flown by. Classes are over, finals are done, and my brain has officially been switched to "off " mode. I have felt a constant fear over the past couple of years that something would go wrong with my education; that at the last minute I would be told I couldn't graduate because something was missed or incomplete. However, as time has gone on everything has seemed to work out. I have worked hard to get where I am on the road to my degree. As my winter break began I finally felt like I could completely relax before student teaching. I was in the process of moving back home and getting situated and unpacked when I got the email. It had been a couple of days since I had checked my email, since my break had already begun. I had an email from a professor explaining that he never received my final submission for my online portfolio and due to that I would be getting an incomplete in the course. Prior to that he had also sent out a reminder email for this submission. In it he was sure to emphasize the difficulty we would find in being able to student teach and graduate with an incomplete in a senior block course. After sending my professor three explanatory emails and my advisor one, all I could do was pray and wait. Grades came out the next day and sure enough, as promised, the captial "I" stood tall next to the course name….
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
It is in moments like these that I realize just how little I am truly able to control.
It continues to become more and more clear to me how powerful our God is. He securely held my life in his hands as I lost control of my car on the interstate. There were no cars near enough for me to collide with, and as I slid down the hill I was able to roll to safety. Sliding down backwards had even been a God-send. I encountered extremely generous people who came to help me, made phone calls for me, and towed my undamaged car. It is so obvious that God is so much bigger than anything we are able to comprehend. He is bigger than a car swerving at 70 mph on the interstate, he is bigger than my panic. God is bigger than professors or online portfolios. He can soften the heart of a man to the point of removing an incorrectly incomplete grade from a transcript. So why do I so often abandon my trust in the Lord and replace it with a desire and striving for control of my own life?
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34
In Matthew 6 we are told not to worry about our lives because God will provide for us. He knows what is best for each and every single one of us, and loves each and every single one of us far more than we can even imagine. Even in moments that seem out of control, God is present AND in control.
TRUST.
You really can trust Jesus with your life; after all he created it. Lord, I pray that you would daily remind me of your power and love. I pray that you would strip me of the pride that encourages my thinking that I know what is best for my life. I thank you for the reminders of your power, grace, love, and my weakness. I thank you for showing me just how powerless I really am and how much I completely need you.
Love,
Kara
