As of January 1, 2014, I have decided to clean out my house. In 6 months I will be heading out on the World Race, and I want to store as little amount of things as possible. I have accumulated a lifetime worth of stuff in my tiny little apartment, so I wanted to get a head start on cleaning it out. There are so many things I need to go through, stuff I didn’t even know I had. I have four categories in which I am separating my things: trash, save, give away and lawn sale.
Today I took the time to go through two things in my house: the yarn and one of my filing bins. I didn’t realize how much yarn I had. I keep buying it, but do not always make the things I intended to make. I either find a good deal on the yarn, it is given to me, or I buy it for a particular project. Well, I know I am not going to have the time to make all the yarn I currently own into anything, so I separated it out. I kept one small bag of yarn for projects I am currently working on and the rest put into several bags for my sister in law to choose from. What she doesn’t want, I put aside for a lawn sale. I am feeling a lot better on how much more room I have now that I dwindled down my yarn stash.
The second thing I focused on sorting was my filing bin. This was a task that took quite a few hours. There were many things that I looked at and asked myself “why am I saving this?” The winner of the most ridiculous…pay stubs…dating all the way back to my very first job!!!! Now I ask you, why would I be keeping pay stubs from back in 2001? What was I thinking? I have worked quite a few jobs since then, so you wouldn’t believe the pile I tossed! There were many things in the files that I had to take the time to read, such as stories and poems I have written, college essays that I wrote and even a grief journal I attempted to write back when I was a student at Nyack. These things made me pause for a moment and reflect where I have been and where God has brought me to.
But the thing that impressed me the most about this task of sorting through my past and choosing what to keep and what to toss was this… Many of the things I have chosen to keep over the years, I have kept because of my hopes and dreams for my future. Hopes that someday my desires will be fulfilled and I would have use for these things. I kept the yarn and craft items because I dreamt that I would someday have a home with a craft room in which to keep them. I kept the youth material because I dreamt that I would one day work with youth again. I kept the camp material because I dreamt that I would someday work with kids again. The list goes on and on of things I kept because I had a dream that I would someday fulfill my desires. Tossing these things into the give away, throw away or sell pile has been a huge step for me. By doing so I am saying to God, “I give up my hopes and desires for my future, and I place it in your hands. What ever your will for my life, let that be so.” Also if my hopes and dreams are to be fulfilled someday, I can trust that God will provide all that I need to fulfill them. I no longer need to carry around my past and buckle under the weight of the future. It is all in God’s hands. I surrender all to him. I trust him to fulfill my every need, hope and desire. I will go into the world with all I own fitting in a 65L pack on my back, and for the first time in my life I will feel free!
