Lessons on forgiveness
Before I was a world racer, I found my identity as a camp counselor. For 8 summers I worked as a residence counselor at a children’s camp. I worked hard and enjoyed what I did. My goal was to work toward being on program staff and eventually leadership staff. I wanted to spend the rest of my life devoted to this place. But that dream abruptly came to an end in the middle of July of 2012. I was fired for reasons that still don’t make sense to me. I knew God was calling me to not be there, but I fought him on it, because I loved being there so much. My entire world came crashing down. To make things worse, my best friend from that camp was receiving my dream, step by step. She was promoted to program staff, and then leadership staff. After I was fired I found out that she was dating the guy she knew I had liked since I began there. She was living my dream. And I was left with nothing. Literally I felt like all that was my future was taken from me and handed over to her. I didn’t want to be angry at her. So I just disconnected from her. God brought me through this place of brokenness. He showed me that I made these dreams and this place and the people within, my god. I put them above God instead of consulting him for what was best for me. He began to show me what he had planned for me. I came to a place where I put my trust and hope in him. I wanted nothing more than to serve him. I found the world race and began to pray and prepare for this to be the next step in my life. But through all of this, I still hadn’t stopped hurting over the loss of my dreams nor really forgiven my friend. It was during the training camp this past May that God showed me that I needed to let go and forgive, so at I can fully embrace all that he has for me. I finally brought myself to face her. I invited her to my going away party. She had to work that day, but she came after work. So we spent the late afternoon and early evening together. I talked to her about her engagement to the guy I once dreamed of marrying. I embraced her and loved her. I found peace in what happened. We both found freedom that day. And now, looking back, I see that forgiving her has freed me to enjoy the world race. And I should thank her for taking my dreams off my hands, if God had fulfilled those dreams for me instead of her, I would have missed out on this amazing opportunity to see the world, to love the people I have met and most importantly, to find my true love in God, the one who truly lavishes his love on me. And now I know I can trust him to give me the absolute best. And I can’t wait to see what else he has in store for me. How great and wonderful is my God!
So I urge you, if there is anyone who has hurt you, find forgiveness for them. It truly is an action that will bring such precious freedom!
