So we have been in Thailand for about a week now. It has been absolutely amazing! We haven't done ministry yet, but the Lord has shown me His love more than I have ever felt it through my squad.
We have had about a week of orientation into the Thai culture and then some orientation on how to get and give the most during our time on the Race. One thing we were encouraged to do a lot was be vulnerable. We had multiple opportunities to share our stories and be real and authentic with the people we were going to be living life with for the next year.
I thought I was good with being vulnerable. But I quickly found out I wasn't as good as I thought I was. One night I got up the courage to share a part of my story and how it was still affecting me.
I spent about 3 years in high school completely alone. I didn't have friends. I didn't hang out with anyone on the weekends. I thought once I go to college and made some friends I would get over the feelings of rejection and loneliness I felt. I did to an extent, but I still had a really hard time believing that I was worthy of friendship. I didn’t believe that people were truly my friends or wanted to be. I knew that this thinking was affecting the way I was interacting with my squad. So I was vulnerable and shared that with them.
The next day I had some great time with the Lord and decided I was going to choose to believe that I was worthy. Shortly after a squad mate sought me out and said the Lord laid it on his heart to pray for me. Nobody has ever intentionally sought me out to pray for me. It was such an encouragement and huge showing of love.
After, I went upstairs to my room and my wall was covered with notes from the squad. Every single one telling me I was worthy of friendship and they were so glad I was on the squad. Every single one signed “your friend”. I can honestly say I have never felt more loved then I did in that moment. Not just the love from the squad but God’s love as well. Through those 50 yellow pieces of paper God revealed so much of who who He is and who I am. Community is awesome!
I wanted to start ministry right away when we got to Thailand. But I know that I would not have been in the right place to show the love of God. But God has used this week to show me His love and unending grace. I can’t wait to spread that to the people of Thailand.
Thank you Q Squad for loving me. Y’all are a more of a blessing than you will ever know.
