Today was the last day I will wake up in an American bed. And a funny thing happens when you decide to give up your lifestyle for the year, you begin to get caught up in all the things that you want the ‘last’ of for this season. And if you’re anything like me you begin to binge eat all of your favorite things in the last two weeks or so that you have left like chick fil a and any form of ice cream/frozen yogurt.
As time moves forward you are suddenly forced to choose who you will spend what precious little time you have left with people while still trying to coordinate around work schedules…
Then there are the goodbyes.
The goodbyes that reveal to you just how vulnerable you have been with the ones you love most.
The goodbyes that you try with all your might to not allow the tears to come because it solidifies the choice you made.
The goodbyes that feel as though you took hold of your heart into your own hands and squeezed the life out of.
These are the goodbyes that push you to the edge.
There is a ledge that you begin to tread dangerously close to and like a tight rope walker must carefully place one foot in front of the other to balance on a wire, you must too. Teetering between the burning desire to know God deeply and intimately by walking in the calling He has whispered to you, and wanting to stay closest to the ones who have poured so much into you and that you cherish more than anything.
The war begins to wage in your spirit of just how much you’re willing to give up.
We are told that we can have as much of the presence of God as we are willing to pay for.
You begin to see the price you are paying and in desperation cry out to God all the things you are giving up for him.
Air conditioning.
Foods.
Alone time.
Sleep.
Comfort.
Loved ones.
You will find yourself listing more and more the things you are giving up and telling God that you’re giving up ‘everything’ for Him. You begin to demand God that this better be worth it. That He better show up in ways that makes up for the loss you are feeling down in the pit of your soul.
But you must remember. Oh how you must remember that what you’re ‘giving up’ is nothing compared to all that He has done for you.
For every moment you felt afraid.
For every moment you felt lonely.
For every moment you felt lost.
For every moment you felt helpless.
For every moment you felt hurt.
He was there.
He was there waiting with arms wide open to wrap you in his love, joy, patience, peace, kindness, understanding, and truth.
Never once did we ever have to walk alone.
Gods heart cry is for us to forget Him not.
Over and over throughout the Bible The Lord redeemed, restored, and rescued His people. The only thing He asked in return was to be remembered.
So when you choose to make a sacrifice for God whether it’s something as simple as our time, or leaving everything behind to live out of a backpack, whatever that sacrifice looks like to you, take the time to remember all that He has done for you.
—————–
A HUGE thank you to all of my prayer and financial supporters!
We made it safely to India and our team this month is going to pair up with Team Mosaic and work with YWAM in Bangalore! I cannot wait to share more stories of how God is moving all around the world!
Please consider donating financially! I have about two and a half months left to raise $3500 by my next deadline in December!!
