For those of you who don't know, my family has a really adorable dachshund named Oscar.
Isn't he precious? He's cuddly and cute, but he has one major flaw… he can be extremely antisocial.
My family currently has another family staying with us until they can find a home of their own. They've stayed with us before, but this time they brought their two dogs along. Well, before today, Oscar has never really been around other dogs before. And he's not handling it well at all.
He has spent most of the day either barking at these two cute newcomers or cowering behind our legs or under the table in fear. He is absolutely terrified of these two adorable dogs that really want to be his friends!
Watching his rather frustrating behavior, I've come to believe that his constant avoidance of these potential friends is motivated by two things: fear and pride.
He is motivated by fear because he doesn't trust these dogs. He's scared they'll hurt him or take his toys or steal the attention of his family.
He is motivated by pride because… well, I don't think he realizes he is a dog. He seems to have no idea that he, too, is a furry four-legged animal in a house full of human beings. He doesn't want to be with them because he doesn't see himself as one of them.
As a result, Oscar is missing out on all sorts of fun. He could be playing tug of war and running circles around our couch and forming friendships with these new pups! Instead, he is keeping to himself, sulking, and barking a lot.
His behavior today has been driving me absolutely bonkers.
Then, tonight, God showed me that I tend to be the exact same way. (Is there anything more humbling than God telling you that you act like your dog?)
Like Oscar, I tend to avoid close relationships with others. I tend to view the word "community" as a bad word and shrink back from opportunities to form close friendships.
Like Oscar, I am motivated by fear and pride.
I am afraid that I will be hurt by others or that they will be judgmental about what they see in me if they look too closely. I am afraid that Jesus will call me to love on people that I don't want to love on. I am afraid I will have to sacrifice my time and energy for difficult friendships.
I am also prideful. Just as Oscar forgets he is a dog, I forget that I am a sinful person, too. I forget that Jesus pursued me even though I am unworthy and, as a result, decide I don't need to pursue others unless I deem them "worthy." I forget that God continues to forgive me daily of my own failures and sins towards Him and, as a result, decide I don't have to forgive others when they wrong me.
Like Oscar, I miss out. I miss out on the opportunity to form new relationships in which I can laugh and play. I miss out on inside jokes and shared experiences. I miss out on having someone to relate to me and bear with me in my darkest days. I miss out on growing and having a lot of ugly qualities worked out of me as others "rub me the wrong way." I sit in my room with the door safely closed and say, "No, thanks. I like it just fine by myself."
Today, I keep looking at Oscar and exclaiming, "Quit being weird! You're missing out!" How often has God wanted to say the same thing to me?
Tonight, I watched Session Six of Beth Moore's "Living Beyond Yourself" study, in which she talked about the fruit of the spirit "patience" and the purpose of difficult relationships that require that patience.
I've always avoided difficult situations and relationships, but she pointed out that God has a wonderful purpose for those relationships.
Those relationships bring out the worst in me so that God can rid me of ugly qualities. They refine me to make me more like Jesus. They teach me about Jesus' mercy, faithfulness, and love towards me. Plus, as I extend that same mercy, faithfulness, and love towards friends, a little bit of God's character is revealed to those around me.
Not only does this reveal a bit of God to the people around me, but it also displays what we can do when we are empowered by the Holy Spirit! He can help us overcome even in difficult relationships so that we can display love and patience by a power beyond ourselves.
When we put ourselves in close community with others, it can be very difficult but it will also be very good. As Beth Moore put it, we have to stop thinking that hard equals bad! (Oh, I am so very guilty of this mindset.)
Sure, there are risks when we live in community.
If Oscar were to befriend these new dogs, he would have to risk being snapped at sometimes, maybe even nipped. He would have to risk sharing his toys and the affection of those he loves.
If I were to embrace community, I would have to risk being snapped at by others sometimes. It could hurt! I have to risk sharing the time and energy I'd rather devote to my own pleasures.
Community is not without risk. I am so aware of that. The risk is the very reason I've feared living in community on the race! But God doesn't want me to stay in this place of fear, cowering under the kitchen table or behind the legs of loved ones, barking if anyone gets too close. He doesn't want me clinging to my gifts, terrified of sharing anything with those around me.
He wants me to get out and PLAY! He wants me to enjoy new friendships. He wants to see me run and laugh and dance with other people. When I choose instead to sit by myself, motivated by fear and pride, I am missing out on so much: on fun, on being molded into Christ's image, on displaying God's character to others, on living & demonstrating a Spirit-filled life.
Oh, Father, please free me of my fear and pride. When I go to training camp and leave on the race, I do not want to act like my dog, shielding myself from relationships. I want to embrace them and commit to faithfulness, love, and patience with my squad mates just as you've committed to me. I can't do this by my own strength or power. Left to my own devices, I will isolate myself to avoid the risks. Please don't let me get away with that! Show me how to love like you love. Show me how to embrace community– even when it's difficult. Make me less like my dog and more like you!
Hebrews 10:24-25
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
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Adventures in Missions
PO Box 534470
Atlanta, GA 30353-4470
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