Curled up in a window seat with a pile of letters in my hand, I begin to open one after the other. After eight months of opening letters from people at home, my life is shifting, and the letters are not from friends I’ve left in America but friends I am leaving here in Ireland.
48 hours until I’m on a flight home.
The emotions swirling through my head and heart are hard to describe. I am filled with joy and eager anticipation for what lies ahead, but my heart aches with the pain of goodbyes.
My friends on V Squad have loved me well. We have walked through painful, dark places together and come through stronger and more in love with Jesus. We have wrestled with hard questions that can’t be answered. We have laughed at jokes I can never quite explain to anyone else.
We have made memories together in eight countries across three continents. For eight months, I have shared meals, beds, bus seats, worship nights, words of encouragement, late night talks, early morning ministry, and so much more with these beautiful people.
Each one of them has revealed Jesus to me in a new and unique way. They have changed my life forever. And now it is time for me to leave them, time for me to start a new chapter in a new place without them by my side.
And it is kind of scary and painful to let them go. I love them a lot.
As I read my letters aloud in the window seat, overlooking the rainy streets of Dublin, I am suddenly overcome with a really strong sensation.
Jesus is here. In this room. He is sitting with me as I read goodbyes and write some farewell letters of my own. He doesn’t say much, but He makes it clear that He is right here, closer than breath.
And I lay the letters down and begin to cry.
I am overwhelmed by the love of Jesus– how the God of the universe chooses to sit by my side on the hard days so I don’t have to do them alone.
I don’t know what the next few months and years hold. I don’t know where I’ll live and work, who I’ll meet, what I’ll gain and lose. But I do know that the sweet presence of Jesus will accompany me through every one of those moments, just as He sits with me right now.
And as I reflect on how wonderful that is, I just fall in love with Him all over again.
I love how He knows exactly what I need to hear in any given moment. I love how He is always available to listen. I love how He loves me with creativity and passion. I love how He is both gentle and strong. I love how He brought me through the desert. I love how He is walking with me through this transition. I love how He wants to share in every day, every joy and sorrow with me. I love Him, I love Him, I love Him.
That’s all I have to say– that in the midst of this crazy transition, I am finding Jesus all over again.
And that I hope my journey has led you to discover more of Him as well. I hope you keep pressing in, keep finding time to sit with Him, keep stepping out in faith, and keep sharing His love with those around you.
He is God and He loves us. Let that never become trite. May we be brought to silent wonder, jubilant praise, and awe-inspired tears as Jesus’s love washes over us again and again.
Let’s keep journeying into new places and we will find Him there all over again, in a new way that takes our breath away.
My journey to discover God’s heart and bring His kingdom is not over. In fact, it’s just beginning.
