About a year and a half ago, I got a notification of a tagged photo on Facebook. I pulled it up, and my eyes were immediately drawn to my knees. They were facing inward pretty severely. How had I never noticed this before? I didn’t have serious knee pain, although they did feel fairly weak.
I mentioned it to Grant and we found some exercises I could do to try to correct them. Between that and Crossfit, I did see some improvement but not much. My knees still faced inward and I sometimes struggled with movements that required a large range of motion there.
Because the problem is more annoying than painful, I honestly don’t think or talk about it all that much. It certainly wasn’t on my mind when I showed up to a healing seminar here in Northern Ireland.
It wasn’t even on my mind about two hours into the seminar. Instead, I was beginning to feel panic. I believed God had the power to heal, sure. I had heard stories of miraculous healing that I believed to be true. But God had never done it in front of my eyes. He had never healed someone as I prayed for them.
As I thought about this, my doubts continued to rise: God hadn’t used me because He couldn’t use me and He wouldn’t use me. I didn’t fast enough. I didn’t spend enough time in the Word. I didn’t spend enough time in His presence. I was inadequate. I didn’t have enough faith.
As my thoughts raced, I realized I had a very serious lack of faith, and my eyes welled with tears. God had told me He wanted me to pray for the sick and see them healed, but He obviously had the wrong person for the job. I didn’t have enough faith for something like that.
So, as the teacher continued regaling us with stories of miraculous, awe-inspiring healings, I bowed my head and began to pray.
Father, I had no idea I had such a lack of faith in this area. You’ve told me to pray for the sick and see them healed, but I don’t have enough faith to even ask. I don’t believe You will heal when I pray. I’m sick with disappointment in my own doubts and I feel like a failure, completely inadequate for the ministry You’ve called me to. I need a miracle today– not in my body, but in my heart. I need you to grow my faith.
A few minutes later, the teacher invited people with back pain to come forward for prayer. A squad mate sat in the chair and the teacher had him extend his legs to see if they were even. One was visibly longer than the other. As the teacher began to pray, calmly and confidently and authoritatively and full of love, I saw the man’s leg grow instantly. My eyes grew wide.
The teacher called up another. And another. And another. One person after another sat down in the chair, and one person after another had their leg grow right before my very eyes. These miracles were easy for everyone to see, but as tears streamed down my face, there was another miracle going on that no one could notice: God was growing my faith just as steadily as He was growing these legs.
After a few minutes, the teacher told us to try praying for one another and to watch the Holy Spirit move in response. I turned to Alana to join together with her. I explained that my knees have been facing inward for over a year and I wasn’t sure what exactly the cause was, but I would like to see that healed.
I sat down and extended my legs and, sure enough, the left leg was about a quarter inch shorter than the right. With a hopeful anticipation in the air, Alana began to pray. Within seconds, I felt a strange yet gentle pulling sensation in my left leg, and immediately my leg grew to match the other.
I ran to the bathroom and looked at my knees– almost straight! I asked Alana to pray for them one more time, and then returned to my reflection. Healed! I couldn’t even tell which leg had been most out of alignment as both were facing straight ahead!
As my leg grew a quarter inch, my faith grew in leaps and bounds. I knelt to pray for Alana and watched as her leg grew beneath my hands to even out the difference in her own legs. Then, I prayed for her jaw, as she has suffered from TMJ for years. Immediately, she felt the muscles in her jaw relax.
My eyes were wide and my heart was overwhelmed with emotion. God had healed me! God had healed Alana! I looked around the room in amazement as more of my squad mates experienced God’s healing touch. I had never, ever experienced something like this before.
When I left the room, I felt much like one of the lepers healed by Jesus in the New Testament. I wanted to tell everyone! I posted it on Facebook, I called home, and I even told random strangers on the street as we handed out fliers in the afternoon for the Easter service.
Jesus had touched me and healed me, and I wanted everybody to know! My heart couldn’t contain my joy, and I overflowed on to anyone willing to hear my story. Every few hours, I sit back down to compare my legs again– still straight, still even. It has been a wonderful afternoon of soaking in this miracle and basking in His love for me.
I am excited and joyful and hopeful. I long to pray for other people and see God do for them what He did for me. God loves with a passionate love and tasting even the smallest bit of it will overwhelm your body, soul, and mind.
I am at a loss for how to neatly sum up my thoughts and “tie a bow” on this blog, so I’m not going to. Instead, I’m going to leave you with simple, short, unfiltered statements of truth: Jesus is alive. God loves. God heals. Because of His love, my leg– and my heart– will never be the same.
