Adventures in Missions cultivates a community of openness and vulnerability. They want you to grow and know that in doing so you must be vulnerable. They also cultivate and require something known as feedback. It isn’t something you’ll find in a corporate setting or even in most churches. It was foreign to most of us before we came on the race but now it is a part of everyday life. Feedback can be positive or constructive. The ultimate goal is that whether positive or constructive you are pointing one another higher toward the kingdom of God. You are calling each other higher for a greater purpose and in my opinion that purpose is to be refined by our Heavenly Father. We are human- we make mistakes and we have blind spots. Feedback is an opportunity for your brothers and sisters in Christ to help you see those areas that need improvement. It is then your responsibility to take that feedback to the Lord and ask what He wants to refine and work on.
This month I received constructive feedback twice. My teammate noticed that during ministry I was being really negative. We were learning a dance for VBS and to be honest I was over it. We had already practiced it that morning and I was tired. My negative attitude apparently affected other teammates. I didn’t notice and went on about half heartedly dancing through the routine. Later that night she brought it up that I have the ability to influence others in a positive way or a negative way. Whoa. A light bulb went off and I realized my negative attitude about the dance rubbed off on other people. It wasn’t easy to hear but I appreciated her calling me higher because it was something that I needed to work on. I received feedback again a few days later and it was something I didn’t agree with. The beauty of receiving feedback is that you have to take it to the Lord first. There is no open discussion, justification, or explanation about the feedback given. So I took it to the Lord and searched my heart for what the other person had seen. Maybe there was some truth to what she had said but the Lord began stirring something in my heart after that night.
The next day I had some free time so I decided to have a picnic with God on the roof. The view was incredible and it was nice to have some alone time for once. I opened my bible and whispered a little prayer asking the Lord to open my eyes to what He had for me. I began reading in Proverbs and there was an overwhelming theme. The power of our words. Verse after verse I was reminded of how powerful our words are. Proverbs 13:3 says “Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life.” As I read that verse I felt like God was asking me to be silent. I continued reading thinking maybe it was just fluke. Proverbs 15:1 says “ A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” After that I realized it wasn’t a fluke but it was a request to silence myself. Me- the girl who loves to talk more than anybody on the planet?!?! The girl who has an opinion about EVERYTHING? The girl who had never fasted from anything like this. I said “ ok God, I’ll pray about it” and I did. I talked to one of our leaders about it and felt peace about fasting from talking for one day. I wanted to be obedient to what the Lord had requested and I wanted to know what it was He wanted me to learn. So two days later I fasted for a day. It was beautiful and I feel like He taught me so much. I would love to say that I was successful in not talking but I made it the majority of the day 🙂 I’m also learning to show myself grace and that was another lesson I learned that day.
Here are a few of the things I took away from that day:
1. When I silence myself I leave more room for God to speak to me. Our dialogue that day was incredible.
2. My words are powerful- they can build others up or they can tear them down. I need to choose them more carefully.
3. My opinion doesn’t matter nearly as much as I think it does.
4. We are so negative. We all need to think more before we speak.
5. Being silent allows you to soak in everything around you in a whole new way. You see things you normally would ignore. You hear people more clearly because you aren’t busy thinking about what to say next.
6. Fasting allows you to experience God in a new way.
It was such a great experience for me and I look forward to doing it again soon. I’m thankful that He saw fit that I needed to silence myself in order to see things more clearly. I’m thankful for my teammates who helped in calling me higher in this area. The Lord is teaching me so many things already on the race and I can’t wait to see how else he is going to refine me this year.
