The Fellowship started our journey together with team changes after month 4 on the Race, in early January, and we began with mixed feelings. We instantly all got along really well (and still do) but we were struggling to let go of our allegiances to our previous World Race teams and put forth the effort to start anew and invest in this new team. Our first month together was in Malawi, and that ministry kept us going from before sunup to well after sundown, so the issue of struggling to invest in one another took a back seat early on. We lived in the bush, preached almost daily, dressed in traditional clothing, and learned worship songs in the native tongue. We lived with a host family whose father kept us laughing because he reminded us of a Malawian Bill Cosby, and a mother who yelled at us if we did not shower every morning before breakfast. The children of our host parents were our age and we laughed and joked with them like siblings. It was an incredible month for all of us in terms of ministry and culture, with so much to observe in the world around us. Our host family made us feel right at home so it was hard to see that our team, on its own, was not a family yet.
Then came Zambia, our second month together. We lived under the same roof as another family but we had one part of the house to ourselves, therefore spent a lot more time together. We continued to be cordial and light-hearted for the first week or so, and then at one of our nightly feedback sessions, our happy facade came crumbling down.
“I am struggling to love many of you.”
“I lack the desire to invest in this team, especially after working so hard to really care about and grow with the people on my last team.”
“I really love all of you and want to get to know you all but I feel uncomfortable because I don’t know who will allow me to grow close to them and who will push me away.”
I love you all and I am struggling to accept that we as Christians don’t know how to love.”
These words hit like a ton of bricks and and scattered The Fellowship into 7 individual pieces. Having another amazing ministry and our continued fascination with Africa relieved some of the tension and gave us some commonality, but we really struggled for a while. We were at a loss of what to do next, so we prayed. We prayed as a team; we prayed individually. Some people fasted and prayed. Over time, in the last week and a half while in Zambia, we, the pieces of The Fellowship, started to inch closer to one another.
Then we arrived in Zimbabwe and wow! It was like going home. We stayed with an American couple from Indiana who loved us, mentored us, and of course put us to work. Their home was like a home out of Southern Living magazine, with plenty of treats in the kitchen and front and back yards complete with a swing, tables and chairs, and big fragrant trees. We also shared the month with Team Gener8 (the only team on the Squad with eight team members). While we loved painting, singing, dancing, and praying alongside the Begarlys (our ministry host) and Team Gener8, the members of Team Fellowship miraculously started to miss time with just our team members.
One night when we were sitting in the living room with the Begarlys and our Zimbabwean brother Bryan, singing both Gospel songs and love songs that we all knew, a transformation took place in my heart. A few days prior, I spent part of the church service outside listening to and praying for one of our brothers in Christ living in the area where we were living. He was telling me about their culture and while the people are great, the impression I got was that they are far less forgiving than we are on our Squad and on our team. While we were singing together that night, I began to reflect back on the conversation I had at church the previous Sunday, and then I heard us sing the words “Maybe we found love right where we are.” (from “Thinking Our Loud” by Ed Sheeran). It hit me. Sure we struggled to love one another in the beginning, but that’s because we are human. The beauty of our team is we have always been able to be honest with one another about our frustrations and shortcomings, and no one ever held a grudge. We laugh together, cry together, eat together, pray together, and even have our own code language and inside jokes (camping anyone?). We have started to say “I love you” before going to be at night!
It’s month 8 and yes, we all miss our friends and family and often long for someone familiar from home that just “gets us”. But the truth is we all do “get” each other. We understand and know one another in some ways better than the people back home because Christian community living, in foreign countries, on a tight budget, with constant change except of for the same six people at our side, leaves little room for false pretenses, comfort, or complacency.
Malaysia (where we are now for month 8) could possibly be our last month together, and while we loved spending time with another team last month, we are glad it is just us this time. We love our ministry of teaching home schoolers and teaching ESL to children in the community, but we also love our ministry of encouraging, loving and “fellowshipping” as a team.
My current team (and my previous one) has taught me that no one, no matter how special or generous, goes into any situation knowing how to love without constantly seeking the guidance of God, the source of “unfailing love”. I see the apostles who walked with Jesus, in a new light now. I had prevoisly assumed that simply being in the presence of Jesus caused them all to love one another instantly. Now I see that’s not true. They grew to love and respect Jesus first and then watched His example of how to unconditionally love each other, and followed it.
I will admit that in the beginning I was ashamed of our team on some level because the Bible tells us that the world will know we of Christ by how much we love one another. Now I am very proud of us because while not everyone walked in with loving hearts or even the desire to love, everyone showed up willing to try. Just like Jesus made 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish stretch for 5,000+ people, the Lord has taken our willingness to try and spread His love and light through us, across 2 oceans and on 4 continents. Our growth is the best example of God’s faithfulness that I have seen in a long time, and though we may not be all together ever again after this month, I truly love every individual on my team and I am so grateful for all of the love, laughter, and even the hard lessons that we have shared.
To Rachel, Katia, Tom, Jesse, Ben, and Brooke: thanks for all the love and the laughs and for time with “Friends”.
