For those of you who have made it to Part IV and the conclusion of this blog series, thanks for sticking with me. The previous 2 blogs talked about Christian men who have paid women for sex, and the presence of God’s redemptive hand in their lives. This last man is the ultimate proof of any doubter, that God can redeem anyone, no matter how far they fall, and that God‘s voice in their lives isn‘t one of condemnation but hope.
One last time, let’s take 30 seconds of silence to prepare our hearts and minds for where this final discussion will take us. Let go of all perspectives and expectations and let your hearts and minds be open to where this all leads.
So the final man I want to talk about has inspired me on this journey more than all the rest. This man never paid to have sex with a woman but one man in his family did. Still, his family legacy didn’t stop him from becoming the greatest man of all. The man I am referring to is Jesus.
If you read the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 1, verse 2, you will see the names Judah, Tamar, and Perez listed in the genealogy of Jesus. Judah was one of the sons of Jacob who was renamed Israel, and therefore Judah was the father of one of the 12 tribes of Israel. One day, after his wife died, Judah was on his way to shear his sheep and he saw a woman on the side of the road that he thought was a prostitute. He asked her quite bluntly to name her price for sex with her, and when she told him, he agreed to the price, and had sex with her. Her name was Tamar, and she turned out to be his daughter-in-law who was angry with him for not honoring his agreement to give her another husband from among his sons after the first two died. Tamar became pregnant with twin boys by Judah, and their names were Perez and Zerah. (Genesis 38) Perez went on to marry and have children and among his descendents were King David, King Solomon, and Jesus, the Messiah of the Jewish nation, the Savior and Light of the Gentiles, and the Resurrected Son of God.
This story may sound like a twisted soap opera but it is real and it has a very real message; God can and already has redeemed everyone. Though Jesus is perfect, no one else in His family tree can make the same claim. The ancestors of Jesus lied, cheated, deceived, killed, owned slaves, and slept with prostitutes. Yet God still brought His perfect son into the world, into this very imperfect family. God didn’t label the ancestors of Jesus as liars, cheaters, deceivers, killers, oppressors, and perverts. Instead, He called them His friend, His children, His heritage, His son, His anointed, and His redeemed. Perhaps that’s one reason why Jesus refused to throw a single stone in judgment. Our Father never sees us as anything less than His beloved children.
I’ve been asking my male friends and my brothers in Christ, what is the biggest struggle they face daily. Universally, men of all ages, even boys, have said that thoughts about sex are constant, and fighting lustful impulses is a 24/7 battle. However, these men also struggle, perhaps more so, with feeling and experiencing God’s Fatherly love, especially in a world that practices judgment far more than it practices sympathy and mercy.
All of the men that admitted to me that they have bought and used women for sex, revealed that it happened when the pressure to be perfect from within their families, churches, or communities becames overbearing and overshadowed any love in their lives. We often talk about women being objectified for their bodies, but men are just as often objectified for their strength, status, money and power, as well as for their appearance. Our society withholds its love and mercy from men if they lack in any of these areas. When the battle to be perfect zaps too much of a man’s strength, one of the first things to go is his strength and willpower to discipline his sexual desires. Sometimes it only manifests itself in his thoughts, but often it governs his actions, through pornography or sex.
I am not a man, and therefore I cannot fully understand the battles that men face each day. I do know that Jesus, our Savior and Redeemer, walked this earth as a man, and therefore He has first hand knowledge of every sexual battle that men face. He also understands feelings of unworthiness. Jesus won every battle, and has given that power to all us. Jesus said and repeatedly demonstrated that He didn’t come to condemn the people of this world but to save us. (John 3)
God doesn’t demand perfection from us, He accomplished that for us through His Son; He simply wants our presence and our attention. God wants to have the most intimate relationship possible with each and every one of us. He wants to be closer to us than own skin. He loves us and has already redeemed us before we loved or forgave ourselves. He’s not worried about our sin. He solved that problem for us through the death and resurrection of His Son. Nothing about us can make Him love us any less and there is nothing we can do to make Him love us any more than He already does because His love is complete. He just wants us to receive His love. Jesus, showed us how to be loved by God. Jesus didn’t sin because He wasn’t focused on being perfect. He was focused on the One who loved Him unconditionally so He never tried to find love or pleasure or relief from pressures anywhere other than in the Father’s loving arms.
I will never fully understand, why men, even Christian men, have moments, where they stop seeing women, other men, and children, as human beings and as children of God, and start seeing them as objects for pleasure. I do understand that the way for their deliverance and the deliverance of their victims is not through condemnation, but it is through love and mercy. God, through His Son, showed us the way.
God doesn’t see any man or woman as unlovable or as unredeemed. If you know God’s love, lay down your judgments and your human understanding permanently. The only weapon powerful enough to execute justice is complete love. God personally touched Pastor Levi and his friends and simply let them know that He loved them. Their understanding of His love caused them to radically change their lives and fight for the very people they once bought. That’s justice. Only love can do that.
You have the power to help bring justice as well and to save lives. Please ask God to show You how much He loves you. Then ask Him how to channel that love and share it with someone else. God has given us the power of His own Spirit to be a loving presence, a listening ear, and a friend to anyone who is struggling. Make it known, gently, that you are a safe haven for anyone who faced with a burden too heavy for them to carry alone, and that with you there is no condemnation, only love, a willing prayer partner, and a constant friend. God’s love through you, not your judgment, is what will save the men doing the buying, and the women being bought.
