God, I’m struggling.
I’m hurt and confused. I don’t want to believe the darkness I have discovered but I can’t help but think it must be true. My heart breaks for my dear friends who may never know Jesus. More so, my soul hurts for the ones who are curious and have questions but have nowhere to turn for fear of being disowned or harmed.
How can I ask someone to become an outsider in his own country and even within his own family?
How do you share with someone the greatest truth imaginable and ask them to accept Jesus as their savior when you know that it will cost them everything?
How do you evangelize to a people group that believes that killing people who convert is justifiable?
Will I have their blood on my hands?
These are the questions I played over and over again in my mind last month. These are the questions that still keep me up at night when I think of all the incredible people I met. But the Lord is good and His answer is simply to trust Him.
He whispers to me that He is holding each of them in His hands. He reminds me that He is the Father and that He loves them as much as He loves me. He tells me trust that He will protect the people that come to know Him and accept Jesus as their savior.
Jesus died in the cross for our sins so that we could have the gift of eternal life, a free gift that is available to all if they simply accept Jesus. Through my fears, I realized I was doubting God. If I believe, above all else, that Jesus died for everyone so that we could have eternal life, then the answer is not how CAN I evangelize to people in these circumstances but rather, how could I NOT?
Life on this Earth is precious but it lasts but a second compared to eternal life with the Lord. An eternal life with no suffering, no pain, no sadness, and no fear.
As difficult as it is to think about, what is death on Earth when eternal life is waiting? I told God again, “I don’t want their blood on my hands” and He responded with “would you rather have their souls?”
I let that sink in and I made up my mind. It is worth it. It will always be worth it. I will not let fear silence the Holy Sprit that is yearning to speak through me. My God is a good God and I will trust Him.
