I always thought I was honest about how I felt and did not really have a filter on what I told people. I figured I was an orange. Peel back the top layer of getting to know someone’s name and then I thought that I would share everything with that person. However, this past week during Team Time, I learned I was not an orange. I was an onion, a Master Onion as my team called me. When it got down to the nitty gritty of getting to know one another and open up about certain subjects, I would keep my mouth closed. I would not share. My team would again and again try to include me and get me to open up, but I refused. It wasn’t until a few days ago when my teammate said something so profound to me that got me to figuring out why I had a hard time opening up and trusting them with my heart. It was because of past hurts in relationships with people and how time and time again I would share my heart with them only to be hurt. This is not true with everyone, but it was true with a few people that were dear to my heart.
Fast forward to Saturday when it was my turn to share my testimony with the group. It was so opening and freeing. I was nervous sharing it with them just because of past choices I made in my life and how I relate with people today. But they gave me no reason to not trust them, and there is no reason why I should not trust them. They are family. Even after a full week of living with them in India, I know that they are going to keep my heart safe and we are going to build one another up.
So, this Onion is starting to smell like an Orange. It is funny how things can change when you hand over your heart and let people love on you.
