I have struggled a lot with comparison on this Race. I don’t know why it was so hard for me to stop comparing myself to others on the team, who are all so wonderful but we are all living in a sinful world and fighting to die to the ways of our flesh. We are striving to be more like Jesus.
I struggled, and still do struggle, with comparison for a long time. I have been blessed with a beautiful twin sister. I love her so much (I love you, Karissa!). So nothing that I say is to go against her or anything against twins, I just want to share my thoughts and the problems of my heart.
I struggled with comparison because we are twins and twins, identical twins, are supposed to look exactly the same, correct? It was always a struggle, especially with weight, when one was heavier than the other. I struggled when she started losing a lot of weight and when she got married. I compare myself more to her and how we “need” to be the same more than I do to others.
However, being on the Race and living with others, the comparison game continues. I have compared my talents, my gifts, the skills I have, my clothes, how I get ready, my lifestyle and the list could continue, but let’s just say everything for a lack of words. I compare everything with others, seeing if I am “stronger” in an area of life, how I look, the way I pray, who and how I talk to others about Jesus and the list is ridiculous. I have been comparing myself to others instead of to Jesus, who is Perfect. Why did I compare myself and look to others that are not perfect? I started living life by their standards and not by the life that Jesus has given me!
During this time of comparison, I felt not needed me because I was not living life on the Race as well as they were. I was not feeling that I could do things, such as ministry, lead devotions, pray for others, or teach English as well as my other teammates. I was encouraged that I was a part of the Body of Christ and that I was needed. However, the little lie that I started to believe was that I was a part of the Body that could be removed at any unknown time. I was an appendix. I was a part of the Body, but I was not necessarily needed.
Lies. Lies. Lies. Creeping in.
It was beautiful when I realized that I was needed, not because of who I am, but who I am in Christ. I have been gifted with so much from the Lord to go out and bless others. I have been given a community that has blessed me with 6 different ways that the Lord is teaching us all, 6 different ways to do ministry, 6 different gifts and talents, 6 different ways of living. We all come together and do things differently but unified. We all bring together what we have been given so that we can effectively work as one Body and serve our Father.
When we start comparing ourselves to one another, we begin to doubt God and His creation. We begin to doubt His plan for our lives and the specific personalities and talents He gave us. We cannot do that. We have been created in different ways for a specific reason. If we all did the same thing, such as loving children, then the people that are in sex trafficking, selling books and sunglasses on the streets, musicians, the widows, and those that are lonely would all be forgotten. We come together and we bring our gifts so that we can share Love.
For just as the Body is one and has many members, and all the members of the Body, thought many, are one Body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one Body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.
For the Body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the Body,” that would not make it any less a part of the Body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the Body,” that would not make it any less a part of the Body. If the whole Body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole Body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the Body, each one of them, as He chose. If all were a single member, where would the Body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one Body.
1 Corinthians 12: 12-17
Love, Kaitlyn Michele
